My Heart Cries for You
by dustytiger
Summary: Tony is diagnosed with leukemia and has to rely on his family for support. Tony/Ziva, with appearances from the rest of the team and Senior too! longfic... enjoy! Now complete.
1. Prologue

Title: My Heart Cries for you  
Author: Trista Groulx aka dustytiger  
Rating: T (same as the show)  
Disclaimer: I am remain poor and don't own NCIS it belongs to it's creator, network, writers, actors and actresses who bring it to life weekly.  
Summary: Tony is diagnosed with leukemia and has to rely on his family for support.  
Notes: I don't usually write angsty stuff but my friend Jen might have given me a little idea and my muse totally ran with it. This is about twenty parts (I'm not done polishing the last few) and as always I'll post daily. Ziva will be in this fic it's gonna be Tony/Ziva fic, and so will Bishop if you're not cool with that this may not be the fic for you. This has a fairly heavy theme to it but still has a lot of sweet moments cause at the end of the day I still like fuzzy happy things when I write fic. I hope you'll enjoy it! Other than the prologue and epilogue the chapters on this are gonna be shorter than I usually write so heads up on that. The title as always comes from a song I like (I personally am a fan of Serena Ryder's cover of it).

* * *

Anthony DiNozzo Junior was in the Director's office, and his boss Leroy Jethro Gibbs came in, surprised that he had been called into a meeting. He wasn't sure what to expect, but DiNozzo calling a meeting had no precedent, but his gut was telling him it wasn't going to be good news. Leon Vance also wasn't sure what was going to happen as a result of the meeting, but he too was worried this was going to end in bad news.

"What's this about?" asked Vance wanting to get back to work.

"There's no point in beating around the bush, I've been diagnosed with leukemia," DiNozzo told them neither man knew what to say. "They caught it early, so my chances are good, but the docs don't want me working, and they'll likely want inpatient treatment, ending, ideally with a bone marrow transplant."

"All right," Vance said not sure what else to say. "Your job will be waiting for you."

"Thank you."

"Are you going to tell everyone else?" Gibbs asked.

"Yeah," DiNozzo replied. "No point in keeping this from them."

They left the office shortly and went toward the elevator, at first Gibbs thought they were going down to tell Abby first, but instead DiNozzo stopped the machine. DiNozzo took a deep breath, having told his bosses had made everything a lot more real. He knew his odds, and was trying to be positive about everything but he knew he had a long road ahead of him.

"Boss, I'm scared," he admitted.

"You wouldn't be human if you weren't," Gibbs told him.

"This is what killed my mother."

"Cancer treatment has come a long way since then DiNozzo."

"I know it has. I don't know how I'm going to tell my dad."

"You'll find the words, and if you can't do it I can."

"Thank you, Boss."

They restarted the elevator, and went down to Abby's lab, McGee was down there as well. They both looked up to see them Abby was a little confused as to why they were both down there. It wasn't often that Gibbs would go to her office when there wasn't a case, and usually if DiNozzo was coming to see her he'd bring he breakfast or a CafPow to start her day. There was something about them showing up together that she found unnerving.

"Is there a body?" McGee asked. "I didn't see Bishop come in yet."

"It's not that," Gibbs told them.

"Is it about that meeting?" Abby asked.

DiNozzo nodded. "Yeah, I had to tell him I need to take a few months off work.'

"What? Why? A few months?" asked Abby. "Where are you going? I don't want you to go! Even if you are going to bring Ziva home, I'll miss you too much."

"I wish it was that Abs." He hugged her.

"You're scaring me Tony, what's going on?"

"I was diagnosed with leukemia."

"What? No, that can't be right, no."

"I'm sorry but it's the truth. The doctors want to start treatment as soon as possible."

There were tears in her eyes. "You gotta beat this. How can I help?"

"The odds are good, but the docs want to find me a bone marrow match."

"Okay, okay there's gotta be someone, I'll personally swab everyone in the whole Navy Yard if I have to!"

"You did get all of NCIS swabbed a few years ago, so maybe my match is already there."

"I hope so, has your father been swabbed?"

"I don't think so Abs."

"After you tell him I'll make sure he does."

"Thank you." He kissed her cheek softly. "Don't cry Abs."

"I'm scared Tony, you're like another brother to me."

"I've beat a lot worse than this."

She nodded. "I know, the universe wouldn't steal you away from me."

The four of them stayed in the lab for a little while more. Bishop came into the lab surprised to find everyone in there. She wondered if she had missed something. She wasn't very late, and she was sure she had told Gibbs she might be. Even though she had been a part of the team for nearly a year there were times where she felt like she was still learning where she fit in.

"Sorry, wait not sorry, right, I forget - Boss, I didn't mean to be late" she explained. "I had an appointment, I thought I told you. Why's everyone down here?"

"You told me about it, it's fine," Gibbs assured her. "DiNozzo had something to tell us."

"What kind of something?"

"I'm gonna need a few months off," he sighed softly hating to have to say it again but he wasn't able to wait to tell them. "I was diagnosed with leukemia."

"Oh my god Tony, I'm so- I don't even know there should be a word in the English language for this. Is it inappropriate to hug you?"

"No, of course not," he assured her.

She hugged him tightly. "If I can do anything to help just ask, this is so unreal. You have to be okay."

"I'm a DiNozzo we don't take things lying down, I'm gonna fight like hell, and you'll have to hear my movie references, which you never get, before you know it."

She smiled. "All right, when are you leaving?"

"My treatment starts next week and they want me as an inpatient."

"It's gonna be so quiet around here."

"If there was another way I'd do it, but I've gotta listen to the docs on this one."

He knew there were more people he needed to tell, and he knew that he'd find the words, but he wasn't sure how he would tell his father. He knew that his mother had died from leukemia when he was young but he didn't know much else about it. He wanted to be the one who told senior but he was terrified what long buried memories telling him might bring up for his father. They never spoke about his mother, he hardly remembered her other than memories of her telling him bedtime stories. He remembered how everything changed after her funeral.

He knew that there were pictures of his mother at his father's place, but they were hard to find. He had found a couple which he cherished. After they'd lost his mother everything had changed neither of them ever talked about her or what had happened. He wanted to know about his mother, but he was afraid to ask his father about her for a long time, and then so much time had passed he was sure it would just bring up bad memories for him. Now he was regretting not asking the questions sooner because he was sure that with him being sick too it would be harder for his father to talk about her.

DiNozzo still remembered the stream of step mothers who had come in and out of the house. He wondered if the reason none of his father's other marriages had worked out because there as a part of Senior who still and always would love his mother. He wanted that to be the case, but sometimes he was afraid to think about it. As many mistake as his father had made he still loved him, and wanted him to support him through this. There was so much going on in his brain that he hadn't thought about in a very long time.

He remembered that his mother had told him bedtime stories she'd made up for him, and wished he could remember even one. He also remembered how his mother would let him take baths whenever he wanted, he liked playing in the bubbles with his army men, but his father always told him that men took showers, and that he was a man now. He knew he shouldn't be thinking about all of this, they were all such old memories but they were all coming flooding back.

He remembered about how when his mother had been a alive he'd been a cub scout, and he'd loved it but after she was gone Senior wanted him to focus on his sports, which he'd always been good at but never really liked. He loved his father but there were times he questioned his choices, and this was one of them. After his mother had died he didn't get to go to as many of his friends' birthday parties, and his own birthday parties just weren't the same anymore. He was glad that he had found a surrogate family of sorts at NCIS but there was a part of him that still wished he had found that sooner.

He was scared that his father wouldn't visit him once he was in the hospital. There had been other times where he'd been hurt, or worse, that his father hadn't even bothered to visit him while it happened. He wanted to have a relationship with his father but he sometimes made it so difficult. Especially when his father seemed to ignore him at the times which mattered the most. He knew that everyone from the team would visit him as often as they could, but the two people he most wanted to see he wasn't sure he would have the chance to. He knew he was ready to fight but it didn't change how he felt. For the first time in a long time he was truly afraid and hoped he would have the support to keep fighting even when things seemed bleak.

End Epilogue

Notes: Well that was that it's gonna be a few parts before Ziva is in it but it'll be worth the wait. This is very different from what I normally write so support would be fab. Can't believe I have it up already it kinda wrote itself hehe… enjoy! Lemme know what 'ya think.


	2. Part 1

Title: My Heart Cries for you  
Author: Trista Groulx aka dustytiger  
ating: T (same as the show)  
Disclaimer: I am remain poor and don't own NCIS it belongs to it's creator, network, writers, actors and actresses who bring it to life weekly.  
Summary: Tony is diagnosed with leukemia and has to rely on his family for support.  
Notes: This part features Senior, I really like him a lot he's flawed but real. He'll be in some more parts, and Ziva will be back around part five.

* * *

It had been about a week since DiNozzo had told everyone about his diagnosis, and he had been in the hospital for the last few days. He was getting his first treatment that day, but he still hadn't figured out how to tell his father. Abby finally told him she would skype him and ask him to put himself on the bone marrow registry, and explain why it was so important for him to do it. Abby was a little nervous about talking to him, but she knew that Senior needed to know and this was the closest they could get to telling him in person. She heard her computer bing indicating that he was ready to chat.

"Abby, my dear," Anthony DiNozzo Senior greeted. "You look beautiful as always."

"Thank you Mister D, I had no idea you knew how to use Skype."

"Junior taught me, never had to use it before though. You look very pale, are you sick my dear?"

"No, I'm not sick just a little drained is all."

"We could do this another time Abby."

"I'm drained cause of this, kinda."

"Is something wrong?"

She nodded. "I'm so sorry that I'm the one who has to tell you this Mister D. Tony's in the hospital and he needs you to do something for him."

"What happened? Was her hurt at work? Of course I'll do whatever he needs."

"No, he's not hurt, he's sick. We need you to get swabbed to see if you're a bone marrow match."

"Bone marrow?"

"Yeah, he's gonna need a bone marrow transplant when everything's done. Mister DiNozzo Tony has leukemia." Abby was fighting back tears telling him made it all seem so much more real. "He's been trying to figure out how to tell you since he found it, but he couldn't find the words so he asked me to tell you."

"Oh my God, of course I can get swabbed whatever he needs I'm there."

"Family is sometimes the best way to find a match, they're looking at the registry too everyone at NCIS got swabbed a few years ago, and I'm working on getting more people at the Navy yard to get swabbed too, I know we'll find a match for him, we have to."

"All right, I can do that Abby. I have some things I need to tie up here before I head out to see him. Tell him I'll visit as soon as I can."

"Okay, I will. I know he'll want to see you."

"What are his chances?"

"The doctors are saying they're good. They caught it very early and as long as they find a match he should be fine. There's risks of course but we're all trying to stay optimistic."

"All right I guess I just worry because of what happened to his mother."

"I understand that, but medicine has changed an awful lot since then you know that Mister D."

"I get that, I do, you're right, but he's still my only son."

"I understand we're all worried about him, but the doctors said his first treatment went well so that's promising."

"Junior has always been stubborn and I've seen him bounce back from a lot of things when the odds were against him."

"All the more reason to think he'll be fine even if we're all worried about him."

"Thank you for telling me Abby, I appreciate it a lot. Why didn't he tell me before he went into the hospital?"

"He said he didn't want to have to tell you he was going through the same thing as his mom did and scare you. Gibbs was going to tell you over the phone, but I thought this was better."

"Thank you." He pinched the bridge of his nose. "I'm gonna let you go, okay? I'll see you when I get there."

"All right Mister D, I wish I was getting to see you for better reasons."

"Me too my dear, talk to you soon."

"All right, bye."

She ended the conversation, glad that the conversation had gone well. She wondered what he might have to do before he visited, but didn't question him. She knew that money could be tight and didn't want to offend him by offering to help even it meant him being away from his son longer. She was just glad he'd agreed to visit when he could make it happen.

Notes: All right that was that, Senior will be in a few parts in this fic. I hope you like it, let me know if you do.


	3. Part 2

Title: My Heart Cries for you  
Author: Trista Groulx aka dustytiger  
ating: T (same as the show)  
Disclaimer: I am remain poor and don't own NCIS it belongs to it's creator, network, writers, actors and actresses who bring it to life weekly.  
Summary: Tony is diagnosed with leukemia and has to rely on his family for support.  
Notes: Thank you for the support on this so far guys, heart. I assure you there is lots of fic left, I've got seventeen parts done, still editing and adjusting some parts near the end, and have my epilogue mostly written. This part hints at Ziva's return. I added this and the next part cause the hospital visits are Ziva heavy and I wanted to show the whole team.

* * *

Donald "Ducky" Mallard entered DiNozzo's hospital room he had news for his young co-worker. Ducky had been in contact with some friends in order to speed up the process of finding a match for DiNozzo, although he still had another month at least of chemotherapy he had wanted to make sure that there was going to be a donor at the end of his ordeal. They were all very upset to learn that his father was not a viable match but had been hopefully someone would be. He still couldn't believe the name that he'd been given to him by his friend, and needed to talk with the agent to see what the next move should be, because it might be a dicey road for the entire team.

"Hey Ducky, tell me you brought me some DVDs or something," DiNozzo greeted.

"I brought you some books Anthony. You shouldn't spend all your waking hours watching DVDs," he explained.

"You're probably right, thank you. There's not a lot to do around here, I'm feeling a little restless."

"I can only imagine how bored you must be Anthony."

"I swear I count down the seconds to visiting hours."

The treatment was making him tired most of the time he still was awake for enough hours of the day that he would get bored. He was glad he had some DVDs, and he knew the books would be a nice change of pace. He thought it was funny that getting sick might catch him up on some reading he'd been meaning to do. So far someone would visit him every day so he at least had someone to talk to for a few hours. There was a part of him that wondered if it might be better if he was sharing a room but then he realised he might not get along with a roommate so it was probably better he had a room to himself.

"I understand, I have some news about a possible donor for you."

"Really? Is it someone I know?"

"It is, but it might be difficult to get her to donate."

"Her? You mean my dad isn't a match?"

"No, there are similarities in your DNA since you're related but he wouldn't be an ideal candidate. But if we can get her back, Ziva is a match."

"Ziva? Really? Wow I wasn't expecting that. I know the last time I spoke to her she was happy with how things were going in Israel."

"We need to ask her she would likely come back at least to make the donation."

"All right, I didn't want to worry about this honestly. I never told her what was going on, I just told her I wasn't sure we could skype for a little while."

"Anthony, she would want to know."

"I want her to be happy Ducky," DiNozzo explained. "If I told her she might come back and I don't want to be the reason she's unhappy here."

Ducky realised just how much the young agent cared about the woman who had left their lives about a year before. He had always known they had shared a very special bond but he never realised just how deep his devotion to the Israeli was. He never thought he'd see the day that Anthony DiNozzo Junior would put himself second but he was seeing it for himself. As much as the young agent was trying to dissuade him from telling Ziva Ducky knew that someone would get in touch with her and ask her to help.

"She'd want to help you," Ducky told him.

"I know, but I can't ask her to do that for me."

"If you don't someone else will."

He sighed softly. "Just don't make her feel like she has to come back, I'm sure there could be someone else out there."

"Right now this is your best chance Anthony."

He sighed softly. "It would be nice to see her again, even if I'm stuck here."

While he knew that Ziva would likely come back to help him, he was sure she wouldn't stay very long. He missed her more than he realised sometimes, and he hoped that seeing her again would end well. He still wasn't over leaving her in Israel, but he knew that Ducky was right she would be his best chance to beat this, and even though he was nervous he was also excited. He could only hope she would actually come to help him when he needed her most.

Notes: I hope I captured some of Ducky, he's really hard to write. Let me know what you think about it.


	4. Part 3

Title: My Heart Cries for you  
Author: Trista Groulx aka dustytiger  
ating: T (same as the show)  
Disclaimer: I am remain poor and don't own NCIS it belongs to it's creator, network, writers, actors and actresses who bring it to life weekly.  
Summary: Tony is diagnosed with leukemia and has to rely on his family for support.  
Notes: This .part is about Bishop I don't mind her, it's the only part where she's featured so heavily, I wanted at least one part with every part of the team. Thank you for the support on this one keep the kind words coming.

* * *

Bishop knocked on the door of Tony's hospital room softly. She heard him call her inside. She smiled when she saw him, she could tell the treatments weren't easy on him but he smiled at her. She had a bag with her, and took out a game of Scrabble, it had been her favourite game for a long time, and hoped that he would want to play with her. She'd read that it was important to keep person's brain sharp when they were sick, and hoped she'd be able to do that with him.

"I thought a board game might be nice," she told him. "I hope you like Scrabble."

"I have a feeling you're gonna kick my ass, but yeah I like it."

"Good, I want to keep your brain sharp while you're in here. I know that Gibbs gave you a DVD player I don't want you to rot your brain."

"What I watch isn't brain rot Bishop, you'd know that if you'd take my movie suggestions once in a while. I watch classics that are well written and have stood up to the test of time."

"Whatever, but I still don't really watch movies, I like to read to wind down."

"Come on you and your husband don't curl up under a big blanket and watch movies?"

She laughed. "No! Come on really?"

"I've curled up with a beautiful woman to just have a movie night before, it's romantic."

"I think we have a very different view of romance, Tony. When I want to do something with my husband I cook him a nice meal we eat by candlelight and we talk."

"Sometimes talking doesn't feel right."

"You're right, and in that case we usually just read books he doesn't really watch a lot of TV or movies. We watch documentaries sometimes, those are always interesting."

"You're an odd duck Bishop, but it sounds like you found the right guy for you."

"I'm really lucky, I usually don't pick on men flirting with me," she told him.

He laughed. "Bishop you're something else you really are."

"I'm glad we're getting to know each other outside of work."

"Me too."

She started to set up the game for them, and before long they were playing and still chatting about things they've never really talked about before. They had never spent a lot of time outside of work together, and she was happy she was getting to know the real him. She already thought of him as a big brother but now that they were really talking she felt a closer connection with him, and hoped they could continue to work on their budding friendship.

"Tony?" she asked. "Have you ever been serious with anyone?"

"There's been a few women, my ex-fiancée Wendy who decided to change her mind at the last minute that changed me for a long time."

"That's something hard to bounce back from, I'm so sorry."

"It's water under the bridge now. There was Jeanne who I knew I shouldn't have fallen for because she was part of a case I was working for the director before Vance, that ended as you would expect when you find out the person you've been dating has been lying about who he is. The writing was on the wall but I guess I hoped it could end differently somehow. And then there's Ziva. I want her happy and she seems happy in Israel so I'm dealing with that."

"You deserve to be happy too Tony."

"Like Abby says sometimes you just need to sit back and let the universe do its thing."

"I guess you're right but I want to see you happy," she looked at her tiles then the board. "You're better at this then you let on."

"I think I'm just getting lucky, you can't argue that I don't need as much luck as I can get right now."

She smiled at him. "Fair enough," she agreed.

They continued their game she was sitting cross legged on his hospital bed across from him. She was glad she was getting some one-on-one time with him. Gibbs didn't want overwhelm him with visitors so when she had said she was planning on stopping by for the evening he decided to go home to get a jump on a new project he had in mind.

"Tony do you know what Gibbs does in his basement?" she asked.

"Builds things and drinks bourbon, he's made a boat down there before."

"A boat? Like a boat boat?"

"Yeah."

"How did he get it out?"

"I'm pretty sure that when we figure that one out we'll also find the answer to life Bishop."

She laughed. "Your sense of humour certainly hasn't been affected."

He shrugged. "They say humour is good for you. This might change a lot of things, but at the heart of it I'm still me and I'm not about to change now, maybe just improve with age, like fine wine."

"You're too much."

He shrugged. They played a little while longer, chatting about whatever came to mind until a nurse came in to inform them that visiting hours were over. Despite the fact she was sure he would cheat, she kept the boards game and moved it to a small table so they could play again when she came back and see who won the third game and break their tie.

Notes: Well that was that, it wasn't so bad was it? Let me know what you think I always love to hear from people. Heart.


	5. Part 4

Title: My Heart Cries for you  
Author: Trista Groulx aka dustytiger  
ating: T (same as the show)  
Disclaimer: I am remain poor and don't own NCIS it belongs to it's creator, network, writers, actors and actresses who bring it to life weekly.  
Summary: Tony is diagnosed with leukemia and has to rely on his family for support.  
Notes: Gibbs talks to Ziva and she has a life changing choice to make. I'm glad that ppl seemed to be all right with my Bishop part. She's really growing on me honestly though I would like it if Ziva were with Tony where she belongs hehe...

* * *

Ziva David was surprised to see the number that came up on her caller ID. She had answered that number easily thousands of times, but this time it was different. It had been almost a year since she had heard from him. She knew that he didn't make calls just for the sake of hearing someone's voice, and she prepared herself for the worst as she hit the button to answer it.

"Shalom, Gibbs," she greeted.

"Hi Ziver," he replied. "I need to tell you something."

"Gibbs I am at peace here, please don't ask me to be dragged back into my old life."

"Hear me out, it's important, it's about Tony."

Her heart sank, hearing his name, they would skype regularly but he had missed the past few weeks which she had assumed was because of work but now she wondered if he'd been keeping something from her. She hoped that whatever had happened hadn't been too serious. He was one of the things she missed most about her old life and one of the only people she would still talk to regularly since being in Israel. She knew Gibbs calling probably meant there was something seriously wrong he was never one to pick up the phone to chat.

"He's been diagnosed with leukemia," he told her, never one to mix words.

She gasped, knowing that was what had killed his mother. "How serious is this?"

"The doctors feel like they've caught it early enough, but he needs a bone marrow transplant."

"What can I do to help?"

"Come back."

"Gibbs I…" she tried to find the words she needed to say, she knew if she went back she wouldn't be able to leave Tony when the time came to go back.

"You're a match, his best chance. He needs you here for this."

She took a deep breath, she knew she was finally happy in her homeland, but Tony needed her more than he'd ever needed anyone before. She wanted to be there, to support him through this ordeal. A part of her wondered why he hadn't told her himself, but realised he had the same apprehensions she was having, knowing that seeing each other again could lead to them wanting to keep building the relationship they had since the moment they met.

"Okay, yes. I will get the first flight out," she assured him.

"When you get the flight information send it to McGee and he'll get you from the airport."

She couldn't believe what she was hearing. She hoped that she would be able to get the US quickly and do whatever it took to help her friend. She was shocked he hadn't told her what was going on, but then realised he hadn't wanted to worry her so she would come back. He was showing her in his own way that he supported her choice to stay in Israel, but she knew it was long past time for her to go back, and she hoped that he would not let her leave this time.

After the time they'd spent in Israel she'd never expected him to get back on a plane, but she realised she hadn't left him any choice really. He loved his job, and his family was there, he wouldn't have been able to stay with her like a part of her had hoped at one time. She liked being in the country of her birth but she'd been lonely since she had been there. She thought being closer to her roots she would find a way to connect to the family she'd lost, but instead she had found herself missing her adopted family from NCIS more than she had ever imagined.

She knew that her spot on the team had been filled, and she wasn't sure she wanted to go back to that life. She had liked the last year because violence had not found her. She hadn't needed to make any choices that could end with ending another human being's life, but she knew it was time to go back, even if it meant finding a new career. She had loved Tony for longer than she would let anyone know and now there was a chance she might losing, after only spending a few amazing days with him as more than just friends she just hoped she would have another chance at being happy with him.

She shuddered at the thought of losing him. She couldn't picture him weakened and struggling to fight off cancer. She still saw him as the man she loved who she had made make a very difficult choice, and she knew if she lived and he would give her another chance she would spend the rest of her life making up for the time she had made them miss. She knew that she had almost nothing in her old home, but she didn't have that much to tie up in her new life either. She needed to go back, and she wasn't sure she would ever see her homeland again, and she was finally all right with that.

She packed herself a few large suitcases, bringing the things she could not leave behind then went to the airport. When she arrived she was very happy to see there was a flight leaving that night. She bought her ticket and sent McGee the information about when she was supposed to land, and finally got on a plane to return to her old life and the person she cared about the most in the world. She could only hope that she had not already lost her chance for happiness.

Notes: Did you think she wouldn't come back? The next part she sees Tony... let me know if you're still liking this guys.


	6. Part 5

Title: My Heart Cries for you  
Author: Trista Groulx aka dustytiger  
ating: T (same as the show)  
Disclaimer: I am remain poor and don't own NCIS it belongs to it's creator, network, writers, actors and actresses who bring it to life weekly.  
Summary: Tony is diagnosed with leukemia and has to rely on his family for support.  
Notes: Tony wakes up to find a friend is visiting him, how do things go? While I would never hold out for reviews, I got a lot on the last part, and I hope people will continue to let me know what they think it means sooo much to me to hear from folks. This different from what I normally write so hearing what people think is extra awesome. Also the side sleeper in hospital bed thing is so true came from my own experience last summer but thankfully I only remember about a week of being hospitalised.

* * *

DiNozzo woke up from what felt like his tenth nap of the day. He hadn't expected treatment to take so much out of him. He stretched out in the hospital bed, there was a kink in his hip; the hospital bed was the worst place for the side sleeper. He opened his eyes and saw his dinner tray and groaned, the treatment was zapping his appetite, and the now cold hospital food didn't help matters any. He was going to roll over and go back to sleep, but he got the feeling he wasn't alone.

"Tony you should eat," he heard a familiar female voice tell him.

He couldn't believe she was real. "Am I dreaming?" he asked.

"Gibbs called me, why did you not tell me?" '

"I didn't want to worry you. You were happy where you were, and I wanted you to keep finding yourself."

There were tears in her eyes. "You are more important than that, Tony."

"I'm sorry Ziva."

She moved closer to him and brushed her lips against his. He pulled her toward him with one hand, while the other went to her hair, running his fingers through it; it was just as soft as he remembered. Neither of them wanted to let things get too heated not knowing when a doctor, nurse or someone else from the team might come in. He pulled away from her and cupped her cheek with his hands. She smiled at him, glad to be there with him, silently wishing they could keep moving forward.

"I - I love you," he told her.

She smiled. "I love you too. Why can't we ever do anything like everyone else?"

"We wouldn't be us if we did. I'm gonna beat this for you, Zi."

She couldn't help but let tears fall down her cheeks. "I want that Tony, so much."

"Hey I beat the plague I can do this. I know you're a match and I'm glad you came back but I can still understand that you may be nervous."

"That is why Gibbs called me. When Abby was looking to donate a kidney she asked us all to get swabbed to be put in the national bone marrow registry. I am a match for you and I want to help you nothing would stop me from doing that."

"Thank you. I guess we really do share something special."

"Yes we do, and I am sorry it took me so long and something so horrible for me to realise this was always where I needed to be."

He tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. "I'm just happy you're here."

She leaned in to kiss him again but the door squeaked open. They both looked over at the door way not at all surprised to see Gibbs standing there with a characteristic knowing grin. He took her hand and squeezed it softly.

"Welcome home," he greeted. "I thought you may need a place to stay."

"She can stay at my place, it's not like the docs are letting me go any time soon."

"I do not want to overstay my welcome Gibbs, I'd like the company tonight but I'll stay at Tony's after you get sick of me."

"Okay," both men assured her.

She was still a little overwhelmed about being back in the states, but she was also relieved. After hearing that DiNozzo was sick she started to regret her choice. They had lost almost a year together, and now she didn't know how much longer she might have with him. The door opened again and Abby joined them, going right over to Ziva and hugging her tightly.

"You're back!" Abby exclaimed.

She nodded. "I missed this."

"Me too, the internet is great, but getting to for real hug my bestie is way better."

"I wish it was under better circumstances."

"Me too, but you're home now."

"I am."

She knew that she wasn't going to go back to Israel. She wanted to spend as much time with the people who mattered most to her for as long as possible. She finally realised that her roots had been there the whole time, and although Israel would always be a part of her, her future was in America with the family she had found when she needed it the most.

Notes: Another thing I learned last summer is hospital food really is the pits, especially when you're a vegetarian so I'm gonna deal with that for Tony, you'll see. Thank you as always for the support. Reviews are good for the soul heart guys.


	7. Part 6

Title: My Heart Cries for you  
Author: Trista Groulx aka dustytiger  
ating: T (same as the show)  
Disclaimer: I am remain poor and don't own NCIS it belongs to it's creator, network, writers, actors and actresses who bring it to life weekly.  
Summary: Tony is diagnosed with leukemia and has to rely on his family for support.  
Notes: Ziva goes to the navy yard and an idea pops into her head. Thank you again for the avalanche of reviews in the last part (other then the negative one from a clear troll) it means so much that so many of you are taking a moment to let me know what they think about the fic heart heart

* * *

It had been a few days since anyone on the team had visited DiNozzo so Ziva decided to see what was going on. She went to the Navy Yard, getting a visitors pass, and went up to the floor she used to work on. When she got up there was a young woman with dirty blonde hair sitting on top of the desk she used to use, cross legged typing away on a laptop.

"Where is Gibbs?" Ziva asked her.

"MTAC," Bishop replied not looking up. "Are you Ziva?"

Neither woman knew how the other might react to meeting each other for the first time. Bishop felt a little intimidated by meeting the woman she had replaced, and had heard a lot about how tough she was. She wasn't expecting Ziva to just drop the gloves, but Bishop knew she could be awkward at the best of times but meeting her was almost overwhelming. She seemed friendly, and she was totally Tony's type. She was happy to finally put a face to the name, and felt a little more at ease.

"I am, yes," Ziva replied. "You must be Bishop."

"Yeah, it's good to meet you. I can see why Tony missed you. You're really going to donate for him?"

"It is nice to meet you as well, and I am, yes, my appointment is in a few days. I could not stay in Israel knowing Tony needed me."

"That's amazing. Tony's kind of like the big brother I never had and I'm not ready to lose that. When he told me I was so worried but when I found out they found a match I knew the odds would be so much better. You obviously care very much for him."

"I am just happy I can do something to help him. He is very important to me."

Gibbs and McGee came out of MTAC looking overwhelmed. She now knew why they hadn't visited DiNozzo in a few days, they couldn't get away from the case they had been working. She knew that DiNozzo understood that sometimes their job would keep them away. She hated to see them looking so tired and stressed out. She wanted to do something to help them, and was starting to think that maybe going back temporarily might be a solution, if DiNozzo understood why she might have less time to spend with him when a bad case hit.

"Gibbs, can I do anything to help?" Ziva asked.

"We're a man down Ziva."

"I could see if Director Vance would let me come back until Tony comes back. I already know how you work."

"You'd be away from DiNozzo more."

"I think he would be all right with it if I was the person keeping his seat warm until he can come back."

"True let's see what hoops you have to jump."

They went up to Vance's office, hoping for the best. Gibbs knew he needed the help but he always found it hard to find someone who would fit in with his team. This seemed like a great solution to the problem if she was able to get her badge back after all this time. She was trying to be optimistic but knew that it could be an uphill battle she was ready to fight in order to help if need be, even if she knew that she didn't want to stay an agent. She wanted something different when she finally got a chance to settle down with DiNozzo, and she didn't want their new relationship to come under scrutiny because they worked together. She wasn't sure what she might do after, but it didn't seem important then.

She was glad that Gibbs was on her side for this because she was sure that without him helping her she knew she didn't stand a chance to get the temporary placement with most of her old team, and hoped that Bishop would adapt to her style of work while she was warming DiNozzo's seat. She also knew that she would have a lot of explaining to do to Abby about why she wouldn't want to stay once DiNozzo was ready to return to work. She had already made so many hard choices when it came to the job she was afraid that she would lose herself to the job if she didn't give herself a deadline to leave.

Notes: I know it's prolly not likely she would get her badge back, but this is fic and sometimes you need to have creative license. Let me know what you think heart. Reviews are good for the soul.


	8. Part 7

Title: My Heart Cries for you  
Author: Trista Groulx aka dustytiger  
ating: T (same as the show)  
Disclaimer: I am remain poor and don't own NCIS it belongs to it's creator, network, writers, actors and actresses who bring it to life weekly.  
Summary: Tony is diagnosed with leukemia and has to rely on his family for support.  
Notes: Ziva tells Tony what she's decided to do. I'm a little bit surprised by the response to the last chapter. I've said this is some review responses, but I chose to do it this way cause one Ziva is already part of the NCIS family, and two I want Senior to have a role in this fic too. I promise she is committed to him and that will play out too. Thank you for your honest opinions however, and I hope you will continue the journey with me.

* * *

Ziva softly knocked on the door to Tony's hospital room, then let herself inside. She smiled when she saw him fast asleep on his bed. She knew he'd had treatment that day and it could sometimes make him tired. She took his hand and kissed it softly, but he didn't wake up, she knew he needed the rest as much as she wanted to tell him what was happening. There was another soft knock on the door and Gibbs came in.

"How are you doing, Ziver?" Gibbs asked.

"I will be fine," she assured him.

He nodded and the two of them watched each other for a long moment. She squeezed his hand and felt him squeeze it back. She smiled glad he might wake up even if it was only for a few minutes. She could tell that he was losing weight, and wondered if bringing his favourite foods from home might encourage him to eat more. He often complained that because of how much he'd been sleeping his food would often be cold by the time he got to it.

"My ninja," he greeted her with a slightly toned down DiNozzo sly smile.

"Good morning," she joked, kissing his cheek softly.

He had yet to notice that Gibbs was there as well, and moved to kiss her lips. "You taste so good babe."

Her cheeks got slightly red, and she moved away. "Tony.'

He followed her gaze then noticed Gibbs standing there, not watching them but it was impossible to miss the interaction in the small hospital room. DiNozzo kissed her cheek softly, gently squeezing her arm, and she sat on the bed with him. Gibbs smiled at this exchange, he could see just how much they cared about each other. He always knew they had a special bond, but it was refreshing to see them with their guards down, finally able to admit how they felt about one another.

"There's something you're not telling me," DiNozzo told them.

"We found a solution to being a man down," Gibbs told him.

"Does McProbie get stuck with another rookie does he?"

Ziva shook her head. "No, he does not, I know my job."

"Wait, you, Ziva, I thought you wanted to get away from that."

"I do, it's only temporary until you're ready to go back."

"I can't think of anyone better to keep my seat warm for me, thank you Ziva. I guess this means I won't be seeing you as much."

"If you need her she'll be here, DiNozzo," Gibbs assured him.

"Thanks Boss," he replied.

"Your father is supposed to be here soon, I am sure he will want to spend time with you as well, I cannot hog all your time."

DiNozzo shrugged. "Maybe, I guess, but you know how he can be."

She ran her fingers along his cheek. "I think he will be different with this Tony."

"I hope so Zi." His cheeks got slightly red he hadn't called her that in front of anyone else before. There was something special about it that name to him.

"You'll see," Gibbs assured him. "Once we get him here we'll all do what we can to keep him close, where he needs to be."

"Thank you, Gibbs," DiNozzo told him honestly. "It'll be nice to have my dad close during this."

As much as DiNozzo had had a strained relationship with his father he needed him close during this. It was the hardest thing he had ever had to deal with and he needed his father close. Since he'd been in the hospital he'd often found himself missing his mother. He remembered how she used to sign to him and tell him stories when he'd been sick as a child. He had been thinking a lot about her since he'd gotten sick. He knew she had the same thing as he was now fighting, but he didn't remember her going through anything like he was.

The way he remembered it she had started to sleep a lot more than usual, and she hadn't eaten with them as often. One day he'd come home after school and found his father there, and his mother gone. Senior told him that she had to go to the hospital but he never explained why. She would call him at bedtime to tell him a story and he would often fall asleep part way through, after a few weeks of that he had gone to her funeral which he didn't understand and said goodbye to her. Senior would never talk about what had happened and Junior stopped asking questions after a while, but now he wanted some answers, he wanted to remember everything about her, and hoped his father would listen to him for the first time.

He visited with Ziva and Gibbs until visiting hours were over. He was happy to have his guard down in front of his boss. He was finally happy in a relationship and he wanted his friends and family to know how happy she made him. He knew that knowing he might be able to go home to her was a large part of why he was fighting so hard and he hoped that his father would see that when he finally arrived.

Notes: So that was that, the next part will feature Senior, it was originally a little later in the fic but I realised I needed to address that sooner. Let me know what you think, every review makes me giddy inside.


	9. Part 8

Title: My Heart Cries for you  
Author: Trista Groulx aka dustytiger  
ating: T (same as the show)  
Disclaimer: I am remain poor and don't own NCIS it belongs to it's creator, network, writers, actors and actresses who bring it to life weekly.  
Summary: Tony is diagnosed with leukemia and has to rely on his family for support.  
Notes: So senior comes into the picture I guess I didn't really think about how long it took him to get there because it was the way I wrote this, so it's not an issue, the important thing is he is there. Still working on a final chapter number but right now it's about twenty five parts and I think I have almost all the loose ends tied up. As always the support on this is so amazing guys keep the love coming.

* * *

Anthony DiNozzo Senior went into his son's hospital room. When he saw his son, who was sitting up in the bed reading a book he tried not to gasp at the sight of him. As much as he had tried to prepare himself for that moment, seeing your only son looking almost gaunt with his hair gone was shocking. They had never been much for affection but a part of him wanted to hug his son. For a moment Senior thought about the first time he had held his son, and he couldn't stop his mind from wondering if he might have bury him .

"I think there's a reason DiNozzos go grey," Junior joked.

His father smiled, glad to see his son's sense of humour was still there. "How are you feeling today?"

"Tired, but I was hungry today so that's good. Ziva's been bringing me food when she visits, and she's also been trying to teach me yoga."

"Trying?"

Junior shrugged. "Yeah, every time she bends over I check out her ass. It's not my fault, really, that woman has a perfect ass, it begs for attention.

Senior shook his head, laughing a little. "You're lucky she hasn't killed you with her bare hands for that."

"My ninja knows I can't help it since we're not at home together."

Senior was more than a little confused. "When did you seal that deal?"

"When we were in Israel," he replied.

"When in the hell were you in Israel?"

"About a year ago now when she decided she wanted to stay instead of coming back to NCIS."

Senior sighed softly realising just how little he knew about his only child's life. He wanted to change that, and hoped that they would have a chance to be closer than they had been before. As much as he hated that he was sick he hoped something good could come from it and they could finally have a good relationship.

"Dad," DiNozzo said after long period of silence. "I don't remember Mom losing her hair."

"That's because she never went through treatment," Senior explained. "The odds weren't good, something like ten percent by the time they found out what it was. She told me she didn't want to scare you, and that she wanted you to remember her as she was."

"Oh, I had no idea that must have been so hard for you."

"It was, I guess we've never really talked about it much."

"I remember her telling me she was going to the hospital and I don't know how long she was there. Then one day Aunt Aggie picked me up from school, and I stayed at her house for two or three days. She woke me up one morning and told me I wasn't going to school. Thenasked me to put on a suit, she helped me with my tie, and we went to the funeral home. I was so scared when we got there, cause Mom wasn't there and I started to cry. You told me that DiNozzo men don't cry."

"I was in shock the whole time, Junior, I never should have told you that."

"Gran told me that she had gone up to heaven, and I was so sad. The last time she told me my bedtime story I fell asleep before I told her I loved her," he explained tears in his eyes.

"They just made her comfortable while she was in the hospital. One day she was weak and I just held her hand and she slipped away. Why didn't you tell me you didn't feel like you had gotten to say goodbye to her?"

"I didn't want to start to cry again, Gran took me to say goodbye to her but it wasn't the same. Dad we never talked about her or the funeral again until today."

Senior hugged his son, holding him tightly to him. "I made so many mistakes Tony, I'm sorry. I'll never be able to fix what happened then, but I hope I'll get another chance with you. There were so many times I wished He'd taken me instead of her, she was a pro."

"Don't say that Dad, we're making things work, finally."

"It shouldn't have taken so long for us to get her, and it certainly shouldn't have taken this."

"Better late than never?" he suggested.

"You're right."

The Senior DiNozzo then hugged his son tightly, happy when his son hugged him back. It had taken too long for both them and they both hoped they could continue to move forward after this was all over. Senior knew that his son had fought against the odds before, but there was a part of him that worried he could lose his only son the same way he had lost that boy's mother. No other woman had come close to her and he realised now that he had made more mistakes than he could count because of what had happened, he could only pray that he would get a chance to redeem himself in regards to his son even if it felt like it was too little too late.

Notes: So that was that, I love Senior's character so much some of the Tony's mom stuff has come from brainstorming with a friend of mine (Jen thank girl!). Let me know what you think, I know some of you are going to think I was too easy on senior but the important thing is he came not when he did.


	10. Part 9

Title: My Heart Cries for you  
Author: Trista Groulx aka dustytiger  
ating: T (same as the show)  
Disclaimer: I am remain poor and don't own NCIS it belongs to it's creator, network, writers, actors and actresses who bring it to life weekly.  
Summary: Tony is diagnosed with leukemia and has to rely on his family for support.  
Notes: Ziva is back at work. Thank you for the support on this one, the next one is also focused on Ziva just so 'ya know. I'm not good with actually thinking up cases sorry. Still working on some things near the end that I realised should be written.

* * *

Ziva rode up the elevator to the floor she had gone to thousands of times. When she got out of the elevator she nearly went to her old desk, but stopped herself, and went to Tony's instead. She sat down, and adjusted his chair before sitting down. She had taken his pack home the night before and had brought in her own. She looked at the pictures on his desk, there was one of the two of them in Israel, and she couldn't help but admire the picture, and how handsome he looked with a beard she hoped she could see him with that scruff again.

Much to her chagrin there was also a picture of her in her green bikini from the time they had spent in LA. She wanted to be mad at him for not destroying the pictures as she had asked many times, but then realised it showed how strong his feelings were all that time. Instead of having a picture of some other woman he had kept her picture as his pin up girl and he had since before they'd been dating. She flipped the picture down not wanting to see it, but knowing he should keep it.

Gibbs came into the bullpen with a coffee in his hand, and even he paused for a moment seeing the former agent at DiNozzo's desk. McGee came in next, and Bishop was the last to arrive, looking clearly frazzled by her morning. Ziva reached into the top drawer of Tony's desk, and tossed her a Red Bull, knowing his stash was easy to replace.

"Thanks," Bishop said, smiling. "You have no idea how much I needed this."

"Tony will not miss it," Ziva assured her.

Bishop smiled and took a long swig of the energy drink, glad that no one was asking more questions about why she'd arrived late that day. She had been nervous about working with the woman she'd replaced. Bishop had worked with catty women before, but Ziva wasn't like that. She was there to help out and do her job and didn't seem to want to get mixed up in any petty office politics. It was strange not having Tony at his desk but at least his replacement knew what was expected of her and seemed to be settling in with her new co-worker nicely.

"I'll never understand why people drink those," Gibbs told them, taking a long sip of his coffee. "Grab your gear we've got a dead Marine in the harbour."

The three of them all grabbed their packs and headed out the door. Gibbs half smiled, glad he had a full team, and that DiNozzo's replacement was someone who already knew what she was doing and how he liked things. There was something bittersweet about having Ziva there. He knew that she was only there because of what was happening with DiNozzo and he wished it could have happened some other way. He knew she was comfortable at his apartment and hoped that she would at least stay close this time when she finished helping the team.

"Ducky's at the scene, Palmer took some pictures, check them when we get there Ziva and take what he missed."

"Right," she assured him.

He wasn't sure how the two women might get along, but so far it was looking good that they would be able to work with each other, which took a lot of stress off of him. He tossed McGee the keys as they got down to the parking garage, and they all piled in to go to the location. When they got there everyone began doing everything he expected of each of them, and he was glad they had. It wasn't the same without DiNozzo but at least he had all the hands he needed without getting stuck with yet another probie. As temporary as he knew it was he started to think that the team could work as a band of five if Ziva wanted to stay after DiNozzo returned to work, it might even mean they could all take vacations once in a while.

Gibbs watched everyone for a moment. He sighed softly something didn't seem right without DiNozzo there, as much as the senior field agent could get under his boss' skin he had also earned his spot on the team. Everyone was doing what he needed them to do, but it was almost too quiet without DiNozzo, Gibbs was regretting ever mentioning that DiNozzo spoke too much and when he got back to work he would be more than happy to listen to him talk out a theory, or even make a movie reference.

Notes: I think it would be super strange and oddly quiet not having Tony around. Let me know what 'ya think. Reviews are good for your soul :D


	11. Part 10

Title: My Heart Cries for you  
Author: Trista Groulx aka dustytiger  
ating: T (same as the show)  
Disclaimer: I am remain poor and don't own NCIS it belongs to it's creator, network, writers, actors and actresses who bring it to life weekly.  
Summary: Tony is diagnosed with leukemia and has to rely on his family for support.  
Notes: I had to write so Abbyness hehe... Thank you as always for the support on this one. We get back to Tony in the next part.

* * *

Abby had come up from her lab looking for Gibbs, she had something for him, and he needed to know about it as soon as possible. When she got up to the bullpen and noticed everyone was working away at their computers, but Gibbs was not there. Bishop was sitting on the floor behind her desk, headphones in, clearly working on something. McGee looked up and smiled at her, and Ziva looked quite at home working from Tony's desk.

"Trippy," Abby muttered under her breath.

"Sorry, what was that Abby?" Ziva asked.

"You working at Tony's desk and Bishop working at yours it's just like uber hinky. I thought Tony had totally marked his territory and would never leave."

Abby had worked with Tony the whole time she'd been with NCIS and it was odd not to have her work big brother there. She had been trying to visit with him regularly but sometimes it was hard, and a lot of the time she liked to give Ziva time alone with him. She knew that there was more between them now and she wanted to give them the space they needed to work on their relationship. As much as she was happy that Ziva was home she wasn't sure what would happen when Tony got better.

"This is only until he comes back, and it will be his desk again," Ziva assured the goth.

"Won't you miss us?" asked Abby.

"I will still see you, just not daily Abby."

"You're really gonna stay?"

"Yes, I am. We will talk more about it later?"

Abby went over and hugged her. "I'm so happy!"

"I am too Abby."

Gibbs came back from what had clearly been a coffee run and Abby practically dragged him toward the elevator to show him what she'd found. By the end of the day they had gotten the case under control, and Ziva was glad she was going to be able to make visiting hours with DiNozzo, but first she knew she had to go talk to Abby. She went down to her lab, not surprised to see her dancing to the music she was playing.

"Abby?" Ziva called over the music.

"Hey Ziva, I thought you'd be racing off to see Tony," she told her.

"I said we would talk."

"So you're really going to stay?"

She nodded, "yes, so long as I do not overstay my welcome with Tony."

"Wait, you're gonna stay at Tony's after he's better?"

"I want to."

"Wow, when did you, you know figure out you were more than friends?"

"When he was in Israel, nothing happened while we worked together we had too much respect for Gibbs to do that."

"So you're saying there was something there before?"

"Of course there was I was and still am closer to Tony than I have been with anyone in my life. When he found me in Israel I realised I had been lying to myself for a long time and it was time to stop."

"Then why'd you stay?"

She shrugged. "There was something in me I thought I needed to find and could only find it in Israel. It stopped being important when I heard about Tony being sick. All I kept thinking after Gibbs told me was I could have had another year with him and I knew where I needed to be. I finally decided that I want a real future with him, and I keep praying I will get that chance."

Abby hugged her tightly. "I'm so glad you're home. Tony just has to be okay, he's finally found someone who loves him, the universe can't take that away he's done too much good for that."

Ziva nodded, smiling. "This is my home now I never should have questioned where that was. I want you to be right, but honestly I'm scared."

"You're home now and that's what matters. I didn't know you got scared."

"When it's something that matters to me I do, thank you for listening Abby."

"I'm here no matter what, go on see Tony, I'm sure he misses you."

"Come with me I know it's been a week since you've seen him."

"We're trying to give you your space."

"We appreciate that, but I can't hog all of his time, please Abby let's pick him up some pizza and see if we can get him to eat."

"All right."

The of them left getting into Abby's car and they went toward the hospital. They stopped at his favourite pizza place, and picked up a small meat lover's pizza for him, and a slightly larger vegetarian pizza for them on their way. When they arrived he seemed very happy to see the two of them and happy they had still warm pizza for him. They both knew that being in the hospital was hard for him, and they were glad that they had been able to take full advantage of visiting hours that day, he was alert and had an appetite it's all they could ask for. He looked like he needed the time with his friends that day more so than most and they were going to take full advantage of the time they got that day.

Notes: I wish someone had brought me pizza in the hospital lol... actually most of the time all I wanted was real coffee! Anyway lemme know what you think heart thank you for the kind words it means a lot.


	12. Part 11

Title: My Heart Cries for you  
Author: Trista Groulx aka dustytiger  
ating: T (same as the show)  
Disclaimer: I am remain poor and don't own NCIS it belongs to it's creator, network, writers, actors and actresses who bring it to life weekly.  
Summary: Tony is diagnosed with leukemia and has to rely on his family for support.  
Notes: Ziva has a little surprise for DiNozzo. I know the chapters in this one are a little short but I felt like things would get repetitive and it's what I could commit to not thinking the fic itsself would get this long. I thought it would be a 15ish chapter fic, and it's looking like it's gonna end up around thirty. So let me know what you think.

* * *

Ziva went into Tony's hospital room, glad to see that he was awake. She knew that the treatment had been zapping his energy lately, but she wanted to see him to prove to him that he came before the job, that she really was only going to be there until he went back. She'd made him lasagna the night before and was bringing it for him since he was having trouble eating and the hospital food didn't appeal to him at all. She also had a small gift bag in her hand which she put off to the side.

"Hey what else did you bring me?" he asked her.

"You don't get what I brought for you until you've eaten what I brought you."

"All right, Ziva you drive a hard bargain."

"I made this with a pasta sauce recipe your father gave me last time I saw him, before I left. I've made it a few times and it's amazing, when we talked he said he would show me how to make pasta. He says the sauce isn't worth it without fresh DiNozzo noodles too," she laughed. "I am happy I am getting to know him better."

"You're too good for me Sweetness. I'm glad you two are getting to spend time with him, although I wish it was under better circumstances."

"There is no such thing and I want to do this for you. I want to help you get better." She kissed his cheek softly.

"You're helping more than you realise."

She handed him the container of food she's brought, as well as a fork. He smiled and took one smell of the lasagna and began to eat it. He was glad she had been bringing him his favourite comfort foods. What amazed him was that she knew what those were without him having to tell her. He finished what she'd brought, and for a moment even wished she'd brought more.

He smiled at her. "So can I have whatever it is you brought me now?" he asked.

She handed him the bag, and he dove right in like a kid at Christmas. He grinned when he saw what she'd brought, the picture of her he kept on his desk. "Really?" he asked. "You're not mad at me that I didn't destroy this?"

"I was a little when I first saw it. I didn't want to look at it every time I moved my head, and I thought there must be a reason you've held onto it for so long."

"Yeah cause you look smokin' in it my ninja."

She shook her head. "Whatever you say."

"What about the other one?"

"You are in that one and I like it."

"I'm gonna have to work really hard to get my desk back how I like it when the docs tell me I can go back to work."

"I am trying not to change much, but I am going to take back that picture of you I used to keep on my desk."

"All right, that's fair, and I'm glad it's you that keeping my seat warm."

"I am too, although I never thought I would be working with Gibbs again."

"You don't want to stay?" he asked.

"Not at NCIS, no, but I do want to stay in America."

"Really, you're not gonna go back when I'm better?"

She shook her head. "No, Tony I have already missed a year with you, I do not want to miss any more, if of course you will have me."

"I like the sound of that, although I've never lived with a woman before, I might have some learning to do, honestly I haven't had a roommate since my first year of college."

She laughed. "I have not lived with a man before, so we will learn how to make it work together."

"Do you want to look for a new apartment?"

"No, I like it where you are, it's a nice building and it's very quiet. I do not think we could find another place right away."

"Now I have even more reason to make sure I go home," he then yawned.

"Yes, you do, now get some rest Tony," she told him kissing his lips softly.

He sighed and pulled away from her a moment later. "I hate this Zi."

"It will not last forever."

He kissed her one more time before he curled up under his blankets, glad she was close. Within moments he had fallen asleep. She stayed in the room a while longer, sitting in one of the chairs, holding his hand. Her mind was racing she was happy that he wanted to move forward with her, but was also worried about him, he still had a long way to go to be considered healthy again. She bowed her head, praying for the first time in a long time, to a god she wasn't sure she still believed in, begging Him to bring him home to her so they might finally find happiness together.

Notes: I hope that answered some of your questions about Ziva going back to work. The next part's gonna feature senior again, I will eventually show the relationship between senior and Ziva as well. Please let me know what you think heart.


	13. Part 12

Title: My Heart Cries for you  
Author: Trista Groulx aka dustytiger  
ating: T (same as the show)  
Disclaimer: I am remain poor and don't own NCIS it belongs to it's creator, network, writers, actors and actresses who bring it to life weekly.  
Summary: Tony is diagnosed with leukemia and has to rely on his family for support.  
Notes: Tony has something important to ask from his father. Hey guys where are you? Are you still reading/enjoying this? Please let me know what you think favourting and alerting is nice and all but seeing what ppl think is what fic writers live for.

* * *

DiNozzo had called his father into his hospital room. He knew that it was difficult for his father to have to deal with this again, but he needed his father close. Although he was telling his son he was staying at his usual hotel, he was spending his time between his son's apartment with Ziva and Gibbs' when he knew the woman needed her space.

"Dad," he said. "Do you still have mom's engagement ring?"

"I'd never lose that Junior," Senior assured him.

Senior knew that his son had found out the truth about most of his financial hard times but was a little surprised he'd think he could lose something so important to him. Senior had been married more times than he liked to admit even to himself, but his first wife's ring was sacred to him. He couldn't imagine anyone else wearing it, and was curious as to why his son might want the ring. He knew that his son and Ziva had a very special bond, they always had, but he wasn't sure his son would want to ask such an important question in a hospital room.

"All right," Tony said, nodding at his father, hoping he could find the right words. "I – I want to give it to Ziva."

"Really? Wow Junior this is a big deal."

"I know it is," he assured his father. "I need her to know how I feel about her and that she's it for me no matter what happens."

"Wow, I'm so happy for you, both of you. I can get that for you son it may take a few days through."

"All right that's fine, thank you Dad."

"I can't believe you're really ready to get married, and I'm happy it's to Ziva."

"I guess it just took something dramatic in order for us to know how we feel about each other. I need her to know I want a future with her. She's a big reason why I'm fighting so hard."

Senior chuckled a little. "You wouldn't be a DiNozzo if you did anything like everyone else did son. I just want you to keep fighting and if knowing you get to marry her at the end of this then so be it. I'll do what it takes to get that ring to you."

Tony nodded at his father. "Thanks Dad."

The senior DiNozzo then hugged his son, which he hadn't done in a long time. It felt good to be so close, and both of them hated that it had to take something so big for them to start acting like a father and son should. The two of them sighed softly, holding back their emotions, despite everything they could only talk about their feelings so much. It had be so long since they had really communicated both men wondered if they would be able to ever fully talk and work out their relationship.

There was a soft knock on the door and Ziva came into the room a few minutes later. The two men acted like nothing had happened although they did share a sly smile upon seeing her, which she didn't seem to notice. The junior DiNozzo was still having trouble eating lately and Ziva had taken to bringing him some of his favourite every time she visited. She a take-out bag in her hands but it didn't give him any clues about what she might have gotten him this time.

"What'd you bring me Sweet Cheeks?" he asked.

She blushed slightly hearing his father chuckle at the name. "Maki it shouldn't upset your stomach, I got mostly vegetable ones and it should be filling."

"How'd I get so lucky?"

She smiled at him. "The same way I did."

She leaned in to kiss his cheek, but he moved and captured her lips in a sweet embrace, not caring that his father was there to witness it. He wanted everyone to know just how he felt about this woman. He was never the kind of person to hold back with how he felt about a woman, and hoped that she would start to see that and relax when he would kiss her.

She pulled away a moment later, and ran her fingers along his cheek. "I am sorry I was not able to make you something tonight, it was a long case."

"I understand, really," he assured her. "Besides you know I could live off of sushi."

"I don't know where I went wrong with you Junior," joked the senior DiNozzo.

"If you would try it you might find you'd like it Dad."

"Not likely, all that seaweed and fish it'd be disgusting."

"To each his own."

Ziva had taken the maki out of the bag, and Tony was already trying to figure out what to eat first. The nurses had started to realise that Ziva was bringing him dinner and had stopped bringing him a tray. They could often get him to eat breakfast, but wouldn't touch his lunch and fill up on whatever Ziva would bring for dinner. They were happy with how much he was keeping down. Ziva had also gotten some for herself and they ate between conversations with Senior.

Notes: Did you really think it wouldn't happen? hehe.. Tell me what 'ya think, posting early today cause I'm having friends over will review reply tomorrow.


	14. Part 13

Title: My Heart Cries for you  
Author: Trista Groulx aka dustytiger  
ating: T (same as the show)  
Disclaimer: I am remain poor and don't own NCIS it belongs to it's creator, network, writers, actors and actresses who bring it to life weekly.  
Summary: Tony is diagnosed with leukemia and has to rely on his family for support.  
Notes: Tony has something important to ask Ziva, what will she say? Thank you so much for all the reviews guys every one really does make me happy, it's like a non-illegal non-life threatening drug hehe...

* * *

Ziva was sitting at the edge of DiNozzo's hospital bed, holding his hand as she waited for him to wake up. It was always nerve wracking after he would have a treatment. Thankfully Gibbs had assured her she could take a few hours off that day to sit with him. After what felt like a lifetime he began to stir, and groaned softly as he woke up.

"Zi?" he asked, still groggy.

"I am right here Tony," she assured him.

"You sure you're not my guardian angel?"

She shook her head. "You are too much sometimes."

"But you still love me."

"I do."

He sat up in the hospital bed slowly. She moved to help him, but he shook his head and did it himself. He hated how weak he could feel when he first woke up, and understood that was why he was in the hospital instead of at home with the woman he loved. The doctors were optimistic that his treatment would soon be over, and that he would go into remission. He knew it was time to tell her just how much he needed her, so that she wouldn't leave again.

"Ziva," he told her taking her hand. "I know that this isn't how we thought you might come home, but we both knew you'd eventually come back. I love you more than I have ever loved anyone before, and I want you to know just how much you mean to me." He kissed her cheek softly then whispered into her ear. "Ziva David, will you marry me?"

She gasped, not believing her ears, Anthony DiNozzo Junior was proposing to her. Her eyes grew wide when she saw the ring he as presenting her with. It was white gold with an emerald set in it wasn't traditional and she loved it.

"Yes," she whispered.

He took the ring from the box it was in and placed it on her finger. She smiled at him, then kissed him softly on the lips. She melted into the kiss for a long moment, her heart racing she was so happy they were at that point in their relationship. She finally pulled away, curiosity getting the better of her, needing to see what the ring he'd chosen looked like. She also wondered how he had gotten ring since he had not been out of the hospital in weeks.

"I love you so much, where did you get this?" she asked.

"From Senior, it was my mother's."

There were tears in her eyes. "Tony, are you sure?"

"Positive I can't imagine anyone else wearing that ring, and my father agrees."

"All right," she assured him curling up into him as best she could on the small hospital bed.

"I can't wait til I go home, we need to break in that new bed you bought."

She laughed. "There's something to look forward to. This ring is amazing your mother must have been a very unique woman."

"She was, she told my dad that if he thought about buying her a diamond she'd leave him."

"Really?"

He nodded. "She was the only person who was able nail my father's feet to the floor. She said she knew that eventually he'd ask, what she didn't know is he'd already bought her this. He said he saw in the store and something about it made him think of her.

"You have never talked about her much before, she sounds amazing. "

"I couldn't find the words before. She was she used to make up my bedtime stories for me off the top of her head. Even when she was in the hospital she'd call me to tell me a story. I hadn't thought about that in a long time."

"I am happy you told me. I wish I could have met her."

"She would have loved you, and she would have been thrilled you were the person I gave the ring to."

"Really, but were you not engaged before?"

"I was but she wanted something traditional, maybe that's why it didn't work out."

She kissed his cheek softly. "I think this ring is beautiful perfect even, and it is even more special to me now that I know it belonged to your mother. I cannot wait to tell everyone."

"It's gonna be great to see their reaction to this."

"I agree I think we both needed something good right now."

He ran his fingers along her cheek. "You're right, and for now we can focus on the future."

She kissed him softly. "I would like that. I cannot wait to tell everyone. Now I have even more reason to stay."

He smiled. "I figured if we're engaged if things get hinky when we're at home together there's more reason for us to fight.'

"Tony I should have fought for what we shared a long time ago, and I am not going to let you go again."

"Good, cause I don't know what I'd do without you."

She ran her fingers along his cheeks then kissed him softly, but more intimately than she had while he'd been in the hospital. Both of them wished they could do more to celebrate their engagement but knew they couldn't. They also knew that visiting hours would soon be over, and it would mean they would once again be in separate beds, on opposite sides of the city when they both wanted nothing more than to be able to curl up together and let the world melt away even if only for a moment.

Notes: Of course she said yes! Would you expect anything less? Let me know what you think :D I guess are nearing the half way part of this fic... reviews are good for the soul heart


	15. Part 14

Title: My Heart Cries for you  
Author: Trista Groulx aka dustytiger  
ating: T (same as the show)  
Disclaimer: I am remain poor and don't own NCIS it belongs to it's creator, network, writers, actors and actresses who bring it to life weekly.  
Summary: Tony is diagnosed with leukemia and has to rely on his family for support.  
Notes: The team finds out about the good news. Silly me I almost didn't write this so if it seems a little different from the other part it's cause I added on the fly.

* * *

Ziva rode up the elevator to the floor she worked on. There were times it was still odd to her that she was back even if she knew it was only temporary. She still considered the people at NCIS her family and that's why she'd agreed to help. As the elevator binged onto the floor she knew she would be answering questions most of the day about the new piece of jewelry that was on her left ring finger. She was thrilled about her engagement and knew that everyone else would be too. She went toward Tony's desk, still not thinking of it as her own surprised to see Abby sitting in the chair.

"Good morning Abby," she greeted. "Can I help you with something?"

"I was looking for Tony's Mighty Mouse stapler, he said I can borrow it."

She pulled open one of the drawers. "I put it away, here." She handed her the stapler.

"O-M-F-G!" Abby exclaimed when she saw the ring. "Ziva! Really?"

Ziva grinned. "He asked last night when I visited."

Abby hugged her tightly. "Oh! I'm so happy for you! I knew Tony would grow up eventually and get you for himself! Wow! This is so amazing!? Does everyone know? Do I get to be a bride's maid?"

"You are the first to know. I am not sure what kind of ceremony we might have or even when we will have it, but of course you will be a part of it." She hugged her. "You are like a sister to me."

Abby hugged her back they heard the elevator bing and they both looked over and saw Bishop getting out of the elevator. She crooked an eyebrow at them wondering what was going on. She knew that Abby was always ready to give a hug when it was needed, but she knew Ziva wasn't like that so something must be going on. Both women seemed happy so it couldn't be bad news about Tony which she was relieved about.

"Okay now I need a good look at that ring," Abby told Ziva.

"Ring?" asked Bishop as she approached them.

Abby nodded. "Yup, Ziva's gonna make an honest man out of our once misguided former lady-killer big brother."

"Congratulations!" Bishop exclaimed, she didn't know if Ziva would appreciate a hug so she decided against it. "The ring is beautiful, it's so different. How did he get ahold of a ring from the hospital?"

"Senior got it to him, it was his mother's," Ziva told them both.

"Oh wow," Abby cooed. "He gave you his mother's ring? It's so pretty, Senior has amazing taste in jewellery."

"He does, yes I am still amazed he wanted to give me this ring," Ziva explained.

"Why wouldn't he?" Bishop asked. "He's crazy about you and he wants you to know just how special you are to him. It was obvious when he talked about you while you were in Israel."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I don't often pick up on stuff like that but the first time he talked about you I realised that the way he was speaking was how other people heard when I would talk about my husband."

"I cannot believe I did not see it myself," Ziva sighed. "I feel like we wasted so much time, and I will always have to make it up to him."

"I'm pretty sure that ring on your finger is proof he understands and has moved past it," Abby told her.

"I hope you are right."

The elevator binged again and the three women looked over and saw both McGee and Gibbs step off the elevator. They were both a little surprised to see Abby upstairs, although there wasn't a case she would still usually be in her lab with her music pumping.

"Something you wanna share Abs?" asked Gibbs as he went to his own desk.

"Not my news to share Gibbs," she told him.

"Tony and I got engaged last evening," Ziva told him.

He was about to sit down, but instead he went over to where she was standing and kissed her cheek softly. "Congratulations Ziver," he told her.

"Thank you Gibbs."

"That's a beautiful ring."

She nodded. "It was Tony's mother's."

It still amazed her that he had given her something with history like that. She knew that the ring was special, Senior's marriage to Tony's mother was the one that lasted the longest, and they believed it would have been his only marriage had she not been torn away from the family the way she had. She loved being able to tell the people who mattered to them both their news, although she wished he could be there as she told everyone; after all it was there news. She loved that she got to share the history of the ring with their family it made it seem all the more real and special.

McGee joined the group as well, looking at the ring. "I'm so happy for you both," he told her hugging her. "I never thought I'd see the day that Tony would settle down, but I guess you were the right person for him all long."

"Thank you. I am glad we were able to figure this out."

Gibbs' phone began to ring and they all knew what that meant. They all waited for it and not surprisingly just after he hung up the phone he looked at group, "grab your gear."

They all nodded, getting the bags from under their desks and Abby went down to her lab, waiting to get something to test. When they got on the scene Ducky and Palmer were there shortly after, and noticed the ring on Ziva's finger but decided to wait for a better time to talk her about it and congratulate her on her engagement. They were also thrilled for the couple. Ducky hoped that having her to fight for would keep his spirits up so he would continue to heal and do well.

Notes: I hope that didn't seem forced or anything. I hope you like it, a few of you have been asking about McGee he's featured next. Also working on a couple things that I realised I missed or someone reminded me about that I didn't deal with. Well as always let me know what your thoughts are, I love to hear 'em keep the kind words coming reviews are good for the soul.


	16. Part 15

Title: My Heart Cries for you  
Author: Trista Groulx aka dustytiger  
ating: T (same as the show)  
Disclaimer: I am remain poor and don't own NCIS it belongs to it's creator, network, writers, actors and actresses who bring it to life weekly.  
Summary: Tony is diagnosed with leukemia and has to rely on his family for support.  
Notes: McGee visits Tony. Still hashing out a few things, I can't believe it this is about how long I thought it would end up woops!

* * *

McGee hadn't gone often to visit DiNozzo, but it felt right that day. Ziva had come down with a cold and could no longer visit until she was feeling better. While he understood that his immune system was compromised it was still hard to not be able to see her, especially now that they were engaged. He liked that someone from the team would come visit him while she couldn't but he honestly missed her, even if it hadn't long since he'd last seen her. He had gotten used to seeing her daily and if he had had any doubts as to how he felt about her, this was showing him just how much she loved him.

"I brought you my old game boy," McGee told him.

"Seriously, how the hell do you still have that?" DiNozzo asked.

"I never get rid of games I like, and my game boy was the first place I got to play games."

"Seriously? You didn't have like an Atari, or Coleco or hell a Nintendo?"

"No, actually I didn't the game boy meant I didn't need to use a TV to play games, so that's what my dad got me one after I'd ask for two years."

"No wonder you're such a McGamer now."

"I can put this back in a box Tony."

"Thank you McGee." He then looked at the games. "Sweet, this is gonna be awesome! How's Ziva doing?"

"Better, she's back at work but still coughing she wants to be symptom free a few days before she visits, she doesn't want to make you sick."

"All right, good I miss her," he explained honestly.

"I never thought I'd see it," laughed McGee.

"See what?"

"You, in love Tony, especially with Ziva."

"McGee I think you're the only person who didn't picture me with Ziva," he laughed. "Hey, didn't you tell me that you went online to get ordained for some geeky online wedding?"

"It wasn't geeky, but yes, it was pretty easy to do, why?"

He shrugged. "Just have something in my head right now."

"Care to fill me in?"

"I guess with transplant coming up I'm starting to worry. There's a part of me that wants to marry her right away, if she'd let me."

He hadn't said it out loud before, but it had been running through his head since he'd last seen her. He wasn't sure if she would want to marry him just before he went for his transplant, which they knew was going to be the riskiest part of his treatment but that's what he wanted. He wanted to go into that room knowing that his wife was the one who had donated for him, and when he woke up he wanted to know they were bound together in a way that most couple could never dream of. He'd wanted to ask her before he told anyone else but he couldn't keep it from one of his best friends.

"Seriously?" asked McGee, his eyebrow crooked.

"What's the point of waiting?" he asked. "I want to marry her, and knowing I've got her to come home too it's all the more reason for me to fight, knowing I have my beautiful wife to come home to, consummate the marriage," he chuckled.

"You'll never change," McGee sighed. "What if she doesn't like the idea?"

"Then knowing she wants to marry me would have to be enough, but honestly if she would agree I just want it done. I want everyone to know I'm serious. She's it for me, I'm never gonna feel this way about anyone else. Why should we have some big ceremony when all I want is to know is we're married? I wouldn't want something big right now I look sick but I want her to know she's the reason I'm fighting. She's all I think about when I think about getting home. I've never felt like this before Tim, and if something does happen after the transplant, I want to be able to meet my maker and say I am lucky to have that woman as my wife."

"Well if she agrees to it I can think up a ceremony for you, and get all the paperwork together for you. There's a lot of great fun ideas out there for more casual weddings, I've ever seen Doctor Seuss ones before!"

"Thank you, I'm not sure if Ziva would go for that, but I'd like something that reflects both of us. Thanks Tim."

McGee smiled, the two men didn't have to exchange any more words they both knew what it meant that DiNozzo had asked him to perform the ceremony. They both knew it would not be anything big, just their family but McGee wanted it to be special for his friends. McGee knew he would find what fit them, and that it would be very memorable. He always thought that if DiNozzo was to get married it would be a big ordeal, but this idea seemed right. He knew everyone was worried about the transplant and this would be a nice way for everyone to forget, if even for a moment, that things were so risky. He was already thinking about how much fun he was going to have doing research for something perfect for the couple.

Notes: I know some of you have been waiting for McGee so here he is finally. I hope you like the idea of McGee performing the ceremony hehe... let me know keep the kind words coming heart.


	17. Part 16

Title: My Heart Cries for you  
Author: Trista Groulx aka dustytiger  
ating: T (same as the show)  
Disclaimer: I am remain poor and don't own NCIS it belongs to it's creator, network, writers, actors and actresses who bring it to life weekly.  
Summary: Tony is diagnosed with leukemia and has to rely on his family for support.  
Notes: Gibbs goes to see Tony. Thank you as always for the support on this guys it means so so so much to me please keep the kind words coming it makes my heart sing.

* * *

The past few days DiNozzo hadn't been himself. Ziva was still not feeling one hundred percent but after not being able to get him on the phone for the second day in a row she'd called Gibbs asking if she could find out what was going on with DiNozzo. She'd give him a gift back which he hadn't looked inside of, putting it down by the chair where he sat waiting for him to wake up. After getting her call Gibbs knew he had to help, Ziva didn't sound like herself. He drove to the hospital and went up to DiNozzo's room, surprised to find him asleep he was always awake for visiting hours because he looked forward to seeing however could go see him on any given day. He sat down and waited, flipping through one of the books Ducky had lent him. Almost an hour later he heard him starting to move.

"Boss?" asked DiNozzo, yawning. "What's up?"

"Ziva's worried about you," Gibbs told him.

"She could talk to me if she's worried."

"You haven't taken any calls the last few nights, and you know she's getting over a cold and won't compromise your immune system."

"Right, Boss," he sighed softly. "I- don't know what to say to her. I've been so tired the past few days, I can't shake it."

"That's normal at this point of your treatment, she's scared that you're pushing her away, that's not what you do when you care about a person."

"I know, but what if I lose her, or she loses me?"

"That won't happen. You're going to fight, you already have."

"I know that Boss, and I am fighting, but anything can happen."

It always amazed DiNozzo how Gibbs could so easily get him to open up. For a man he so often described a functional mute he certainly knew how get others to talk. This wasn't like interrogation Gibbs, it was softer than that. It was him fixing a problem with his family by getting them to talk. Often times DiNozzo found it easier to come clean with Gibbs than anyone else. He knew his boss was right but there was still a part of him that worried about the future, it was only natural with what he was dealing with, but he was already starting to feel a little relieved by talking it out.

"Don't push her away, if she didn't want this she wouldn't be here, and she certainly wouldn't have that ring on her finger. Don't fuck this up, you'll never find anyone like her again," Gibbs told him never one to sugar coat anything.

"I know, Boss, but I don't understand why she's putting up with this," he sighed.

"She wants to, don't overthink it."

He nodded. "I'm exhausted I've never felt like this before. I don't want to scare her, but there's time where I just want to go to sleep and not wake up."

"That's one option."

"Thanks for the support Boss. I don't want to stop fighting but it's hard when everything hurts, when I look like a ghost and everyone looks at me different."

"Not everyone."

"Boss I can see, it my dad is scared of me. McGee hardly visits me Bishop won't look me in the eyes. I know Palmer's busy with the baby but he could visit just once."

"Palmer's worried about spreading germs from the baby to you without realising it. McGee's been letting Ziva come more often, as for Bishop, who can explain her sometimes. As for your father it's the worst feeling in the world to see your child sick it's a natural reaction to seeing you in the hospital. But you have to see that everyone is trying their best to support you."

"I know. I'm just scared."

"You have every right to be scared, but you shouldn't push away the people who care about you."

He nodded. "I know I do. Can you tell Zi I'll call her tomorrow?"

"Sure."

"I'm going back to sleep hopefully it'll make me feel better."

"All right Tony, like I told you when you had the plague, Tony you will not die."

He couldn't help but smile. "Gotcha Boss."

"Ziva gave me this."

Tony took the small bag his boss had brought in and almost forgot about. When he looked inside he found one of Ziva's tank tops inside. He grinned, he had one hiding under his pillow but it no longer smelled like her, it smelled like the hospital. He liked having it close because it made him feel like she was closer even when she couldn't be. He knew that Gibbs hadn't peaked into the bag knowing that it was probably something personal. He curled up in the hospital bed, her shirt close to him, and a smile on his lips, hoping he could tell her what was going on his head the next day.

Notes: Well that was that, I hope you enjoyed it let me know. Next up some more Senior stuff. I wrote this before the plot twist of senior getting married, which I love. Reviews are good for the soul hearts


	18. Part 17

Title: My Heart Cries for you  
Author: Trista Groulx aka dustytiger  
ating: T (same as the show)  
Disclaimer: I am remain poor and don't own NCIS it belongs to it's creator, network, writers, actors and actresses who bring it to life weekly.  
Summary: Tony is diagnosed with leukemia and has to rely on his family for support.  
Notes: Senior and Tony have another heart to heart. I thought it might be nice for them to share some more memories of his mother. I hope 'ya like it some of the chapters are little longer than I originally planned hope it's working for you

* * *

Senior was in his son's room, it was late afternoon and he was sure the team were going to start to show up soon, but was glad for the one on one time they were getting. He was thrilled to hear that Ziva had agreed to marry him, and couldn't wait to hear what the couple would dream up as their dream wedding.

"Dad?" Tony asked.

"Yeah," Senior asked.

"How did you ask Mom when you got engaged?"

"I did it all for her. I even asked for her father's blessing."

Tony laughed. "You, seriously?"

"Don't be like that Junior if Ziva's father had been alive you would have asked."

"Not likely, I'm pretty sure that Director David would have had his goons on me thirteen seconds after I talked to him if I had asked him for his blessing, I got the impression he didn't like me."

"Fathers don't like the man their daughters love, it's how it is like the sky is blue and the grass is green."

Tony laughed. "Ziva and I weren't even anything while he was alive."

"You were something, you kids just hadn't figured it out yet. Everyone saw it, and I'm sure he did too and that's why he acted that way. Your grandfather gave me his blessing but only after he threatened to murder me if I ever hurt her."

"I don't know about that. I guess I would have tried or asked Gibbs," he laughed. "But now that we don't work together I'm not breaking any rules."

"I didn't realise there were rules about that sort of thing."

"At NCIS, not really, with Gibbs it's rule twelve. There are some rules that you can bend a little but seven to about twenty five you don't mess with if you know what's good for you."

"Just when I thought I was starting to understand Gibbs."

"Gibbs is a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside of enigma and the Gibbs rules are the key," ad-libbed Tony.

Senior shook his head, but smiled despite himself. "If you say so, but that's not what's on your mind."

"No it isn't."

He sighed softly he hadn't thought about that day in a long time, it was bittersweet for him. "I took her up north to a ski resort, she loved winter sports, I could have lived my life whole without them. She came in after a day of skiing complaining about how I was missing half the experience, but then noticed I'd made dinner and started a fire. It was the first time I ever made her the DiNozzo family tomato sauce, it wasn't as good with winter tomatoes."

"Hey, speaking of that why'd you give Ziva the recipe?"

"I always knew she'd be a DiNozzo one day. Back to what you want to know after we ate we curled up by the fire. I was going to ask her over dinner, but I lost my nerve. Then I was going to hide her ring in the dessert but I didn't think she'd like that. She was surprised I wasn't all over her – you don't need to know that."

"Not so much."

"We were curled up by the fire place, and I asked her if she'd be interested in making an honest man out of me, and showed her the ring. She was so happy. I think the only time she was happier was the first time she held you."

"Really?"

"Yes, she had a rough pregnancy. The doctors told her she could probably never carry to full term, and even if she did give birth the fetus would be too premature. We were extra careful because of that, we had been looking into adoption when she started getting sick all the time, and was emotional about everything."

"I can't imagine Mom like that," Tony admitted.

"It was unnerving. Finally just out of sheer frustration she took the test, and it was positive. She made her doctor's appointment and she was already in her second trimester, which shocked the doctor. He kept telling us to be apprehensive but we got what we needed for you, and we'd say if you didn't come we'd be more ready to adopt. She made it to about thirty seven weeks when she went into labour. We didn't know what to expect. She was in labour for almost a day before you finally decided to surprise us."

"Surprise you?"

"Not like that, Junior, not like that at all. We weren't expecting a healthy, screaming baby boy we were ready for the worst, but there you were. They only name we could think of was mine cause we never talked about it before. I still remember the look on her face when she got to hold you that first time Junior. She never looked so beautiful, I told her as much and she slapped me."

Tony laughed, uncertainly.

"She told me she looked like shit and was exhausted, but I'm telling you Junior no lie that woman was so thrilled she looked like an angel. I haven't thought about that in years."

"I wish it hadn't taken this for us to be able to talk about her."

"Me too, Junior, me too."

The two men continued to share stories about Tony's mother. They were both happy they were finally able to share these memories. They hated that the reason they were finally getting to talk about her was because he was sick but it felt good to finally talk about her and Tony wouldn't change that for anything.

Notes: I heart Senior so much, let me know what you think. I always love to hear from readers so keep reviewing guys.


	19. Part 18

Title: My Heart Cries for you  
Author: Trista Groulx aka dustytiger  
ating: T (same as the show)  
Disclaimer: I am remain poor and don't own NCIS it belongs to it's creator, network, writers, actors and actresses who bring it to life weekly.  
Summary: Ziva is feeling better and has something up her sleeve. I wanted to have a part with everyone on the team, this one was a bit of a challenge I hope it works.

* * *

Ziva was finally feeling better, after a week and half of not going to the hospital she was able to visit with Tony. As much as she had missed him, she didn't want to risk getting him sick. He smiled at her and he could smell something amazing wafting from the bag she had in her hand. She'd made herself a very hearty stew while she'd been sick, knowing that she would be able to keep it down. She hoped that it would help to lift his spirits too. She went to kiss his cheek but he moved to capture her lips in a sweet soft embrace. She relaxed into the kiss, running her finger along his cheek. She then pulled away from him smiling happy to have him close again.

"I missed you Gorgeous," he told her.

"And I you," she assured him. "You should eat while it is still warm."

"You take such good care of me Ziva."

He opened the container she'd brought and smiled. The stew looked even better than it smelled and he quickly polished it off. Most of the time he would eat slowly, but the rich stew was going down easily. They were both glad that it had piqued his appetite and made a mental note to bring him more foods like that. As he finished eating he was surprised to see her take out her tablet. She'd never brought anything like that into the room before and he was surprise to see that she'd brought it after not seeing him for a week. He liked that they would talk undistracted.

"What's with that?" he asked.

"Gibbs mentioned that you hadn't seen Palmer since you've been in here. I talked to him about it, and he is genuinely worried he could accidently make you sick if the baby has a cold and they don't know it yet. So we decided that this would be the next best thing."

"Thank you," he said smiling.

He really had been missing his family since he was in the hospital and while he saw them all once in a while for the most part they gave Ziva more time with him. He didn't mind seeing her so much but it was nice to see everyone else at times too. She was playing with the tablet for a moment then gave it to him glad she'd remembered how to use the app.

"Autopsy Gremlin!" he greeted.

"Hi Tony," he sighed.

"Don't tell me you haven't missed it."

He shrugged. "I guess I kind of did. I'm sorry I haven't come to visit you but I don't want to make you sick. Babies can be breathing germ factories."

"I totally understand. How is the little cherub?"

"She's doing very well, but she's sleeping right now."

Breena walked past then stopped, smiling at him from behind Palmer's shoulder. "You look so handsome without hair Tony," she told him.

Tony couldn't help but laugh. "Thanks for lying to me."

"Was it that obvious?"

"Not overly, but I know there why DiNozzos always go grey."

She was about to say something else but the baby began to cry. She excused herself in order to attend to their daughter. Tony and Palmer were getting caught up, they both seemed happy that they were able to talk without either of them fearing Tony might get sick. Tony thought it was a nice break to hear about the baby instead of being asked more questions about how he was feeling, and focusing on him being sick. Breena came back onto the screen for a moment, giving Palmer the baby. Tony grinned upon seeing her.

"Celeste you need to stop growing while Uncle Tony is in the hospital you adorable little cherub."

"Their development at this age is almost unbelievable. Sometimes I wish she'd stop growing too but it's not really an option."

"You're right I can't believe it she's just gotten so big since I last saw her. I'm so glad she wasn't scared when she saw me."

"You don't look scary Tony. You look a little odd without hair but that's all really and you're pale. I'm surprised a lot of cancer patients look gaunt while they are undergoing treatment."

"You sometimes see them at a different stage than I'm at. Besides, Ziva's cooking might make me a fatty when I finally get out of here. She's also making me do yoga when I'm up for it, so if I don't look like death warmed over it's all because of her."

Palmer was surprised to hear Tony talking like that. In the time he'd known him he didn't really speak that fondly about a woman before. He knew that they were engaged, he had seen Ziva's ring, but he had never seen them interact outside of work since things had changed between them. Hearing him say that made him realise that what it was they shared was very real. They talked for a little while longer before Celeste began to fuss and they ended the session.

Tony looked up at Ziva. "Thank you Zi, come here."

She leaned in close to him and he captured her lips again. She smiled into the embrace and let it linger a few minutes. He ran his fingers through her hair, and pulled away from her. She laid her head on his, caressing his cheeks. Neither of them had to say anything. She sat down on the bed and her curled up to her. She smiled wishing they could have more privacy, but taking any time they could get together before one of the nurses told her it was time to leave.

Notes: I finally got around to writing something with Palmer in it. It stinks when visiting hours are over and you have to entertain yourself again. Anyway I hope you like this please let me know I'm always thrilled by reviews.

Notes: Well that was that please let me know what you're thinking about this fic.


	20. Part 19

Title: My Heart Cries for you  
Author: Trista Groulx aka dustytiger  
ating: T (same as the show)  
Disclaimer: I am remain poor and don't own NCIS it belongs to it's creator, network, writers, actors and actresses who bring it to life weekly.  
Summary: This one is another one where Tony isn't doing great, but he shares his idea with Ziva. I hope you are still enjoying this, gosh it's hard to hurt characters I love, power to you drama writers!

* * *

Ziva went into Tony's room a little surprised he wasn't in his bed waiting for her as usual. She'd made him roast beef and had brought bread and mustard for sandwiches with homemade coleslaw. She put the containers down when she heard something from the bathroom she hated when he would get sick like that. She knocked on the door softly then went inside. He looked up at her, she'd never seem him look so pale. There had been a few other days where the treatment made him sick but this was by far the worst.

"Just go," he groaned, he was sitting by the toilet.

"I want to help," she told.

"I've been puking on and off for the last four hours. I'm not sure you can help me and I'm not good company right now anyway."

"I will sit here and hold your hand until they kick me out if I have to."

"Ziva," he sighed.

"I am not leaving, Tony."

"You don't have to stay I can be sick all on my own. Just go."

"What I need right now is to see you and I do not care that you are sick."

"I'll never understand why you're staying."

"Because I want to, and that is what you do when you love a person."

He shook his head. "You sit in a bathroom for four hours when you can go home, or go out or do something else. I don't understand."

"We are together through everything, the good and the bad. That is part of what happens when you agree to marry a person."

He sighed softly. "So what happens if I can't beat this, cause right now I'm feeling like it's beating me."

"The doctors told you some treatments could be worse. If by some chance you don't come back from this then it would take a very long time for me to learn to love again, Tony. From the moment I said yes we were as good as married." She poured him a glass of water and handed it to him.

"This might get me going again."

"I have seen worse," she assured him.

"Were you serious, that you felt like that when I gave you that ring?" he asked.

"I am yes. If you didn't make it, although I believe you're going to get better when I spoke of you I would refer to you as my late husband, honestly."

"Zi, I- I don't know what to say."

"There is nothing to say. This is how I feel."

He was quiet for a long moment, trying to figure the right words for what he feeling. He didn't want to scare her but what he was thinking might be more than they could handle. What he was now thinking had been in his head for a few weeks now, mostly keeping him up wondering if he could ask so much of her. He wished he knew how important certain traditions were to her so he could know he would get the response he hoped for. His situation made him question how important rituals and ceremonies were when two people wanted the same thing.

"Ziva would you," he paused trying to find the right words. "Would you want to marry me before I get my marrow transplant?"

She gasped, never expecting that. "Tony."

"It's okay if you don't want to, it's not like we could go to a church or find somewhere so quickly even if by some chance the doctors let me out for the day. Besides our pictures wouldn't be that great if we could make it work."

"You have thought a lot about this."

"I have," he assured her. "McGoo did something McGeeky and he could perform the ceremony in here with just our family."

She laughed softly. "I would hope not in the bathroom."

He also laughed despite how he felt. "No, in my room before the transplant since the docs say it's the riskiest part because we don't know how my body will react."

"We could do that Tony, I think it is a very good idea."

"Are you sure? It wouldn't be a big thing and I couldn't ask you to buy a gown or anything, but we could have a few pictures."

"I know but I think it will be perfect. If we want something else we could always renew our vows when your hair comes back ad you could have a beard like the one you had when we were in Israel."

"Really a beard?" he asked, surprised.

"It worked for me Tony."

He shook his head. "I love you, Zi."

"I love you too Tony and I cannot wait to be married to you."

"I'd kiss you but my mouth is not a friendly place right now."

She kissed his cheek. "I understand," she assured him.

She helped him up and into the room and into his bed. She knew he probably wouldn't be up to eating yet, but decided she would leave what she'd brought him in case he got his appetite back after he got some rest. She held his hand, and he smiled at her, glad that she hadn't left. It helped him feel better having someone with him in the hospital room. While he was keeping himself entertained with the books, games and DVDs he'd been given and had borrowed the best part of his day was when he got to visit with someone in his family, and he liked spending time with Ziva the most.

Notes: I hope you liked this part, I had to put something happy in it cause it was pretty intense there. Lemme know what you're thinking I love to hear from 'ya. Reviews are good for the soul :D


	21. Part 20

Title: My Heart Cries for you  
Author: Trista Groulx aka dustytiger  
ating: T (same as the show)  
Disclaimer: I am remain poor and don't own NCIS it belongs to it's creator, network, writers, actors and actresses who bring it to life weekly.  
Summary: A certain reviewer has been asking about Ziva's necklace so here it, and a little bit of Ducky too. Sorry I don't have much Ducky-ness but I really have issues writing him.

* * *

Ziva was sitting in Tony's hospital room like she did most days after work. She was glad that Gibbs was giving her extra time so she could still see Tony when she needed him and that McGee and Bishop didn't mind and understood why she would usually be the first to leave for the night. She wasn't sure what she'd wanted for dinner that night so had decided she would ask Tony what he wanted then leave for a few minutes to get whatever he might be craving. They' d hardly said anything to each other than greetings since she arrived.

"You're a million miles away Ziva, what's on your mind" he sked.

"I was just thinking."

"Care to share?"

"When you left Israel I gave you my necklace."

"I still have it."

He leaned over and took his book from the small side table that was in her room. He opened it where his bookmark was sticking out, and pulled the necklace out. She smiled surprised to see that he had had it with him the whole time he'd been in the hospital. She hadn't expected that he would have gotten rid of it, but she always assumed she'd get it back when she came home, and as much as she loved her engagement ring she still felt strange not having the other piece of jewellery.

"Do you want it back?" he asked her.

"Eventually, yes, I would but if you need it right now, you should keep it," she assured him.

"It keeps me grounded, honestly," he explained. "It reminds me that you've got my back and makes me think the big guy upstairs might have my back too, even if it doesn't represent what I grew up with. It's yours if you want it you should have it."

"Keep it Tony. I am just glad it is not gone."

"When I'm home it's yours."

"All right, good."

She leaned toward him and kissed him softly, and as she did the door squeaked opened. They both assumed it was just the nurse doing her rounds until they heard someone clear his throat behind them. They were both surprised it was Ducky who was standing there, he hadn't often come to visit him. It didn't bother him he knew Ducky didn't much like hospitals and would joke that's why he got a job in a morgue instead. Tony was glad to see him none the less.

"I am sorry if I interrupted anything," he greeted.

"No, of course not, come in," Ziva assured him.

"How are you feeling Anthony?"

"Today's a good day Ducky, but I'll still be really happy when they finally let me go home."

"I would imagine you will be, you've been here long enough. You must be homesick by now."

"I am, that and I'm looking forward to sleeping on a pillow-top again. It might not be the bed I had when I was admitted, but it's still going to be my bed and it'll be great!"

"I understand completely, hospitals are certainly not the best place to sleep, even though the doctors advocate getting as much rest as possible."

"You act like you're not a doctor Ducky, but I think your autopsy table is just as comfortable as this damn bed."

He laughed. "The people I see don't care about the state of their bed."

"True enough."

"That was good timing Ducky," Ziva told him. "I was going to get us some dinner, so now Tony won't be alone."

"Excellent!"

"What would you like Tony?"

"A hamburger and fries if you don't mind," Tony replied.

"Sure, would you like anything Ducky?"

"No thank you, my dear, I've already eaten."

"I'll be back soon."

She kissed Tony softly on the cheek before leaving the room letting the two men visit with each other. She knew they hadn't seen much of each other while he'd been in the hospital and was happy they were getting a chance to.

"So you've been eating?" Ducky asked him.

"Yeah, Ziva's making sure of that," he assured him. "I'm lucky I have he in my corner."

"Congratulations by the way, I'm happy for both of you. There are a lot of studies which show that good news during a time like this can help with healing. I went to med school with a man who believed that having something else to focus your energies on while you're sick helps keep you sharp as well."

"I can believe it. The last few treatments I had I didn't feel nearly as sick as before there were a few days where I didn't like what I was thinking."

"Gibbs told me. I'm glad you're not feeling that way anymore. It's normal at some point in treatment to feel that way, even if you don't want to. You've been in the hospital, you miss your home, your bed and even your routine right now you. You might also find it's feeling easier because you can see the end now, you have the date for your transplant, and there's only a few more treatments since the doctors are close to feeling close to being able to confirm you are in remission."

"You might be right Ducky," Tony told him. "Do you think you're going to be able to talk Palmer into actually being here for the ceremony?"

"I think I'll be able to. He understands that you want all of us there because this is a big step for you."

"Good."

"I think that might be a big part of the reason why you're feeling better you have something good to focus on."

"It's not just good Ducky, it's amazing."

"I'm so happy for you Anthony I wasn't sure you would ever find what you have with Ziva."

"I was starting to think so too."

They visited for a while longer, ad when Ziva came back with their dinner Ducky decided to stay. He hadn't seen them together much, but now that he had he could see them together he understood just how much they cared for each other. There was a connection between the two of them which had always been strong but there was more to it now he could tell just how much they cared about each other by the way they were looking at each other, and he couldn't be happier that they had found it. He was excited to see them get married, knowing it would be exactly what Tony needed in order to keep pushing forward.

Notes: So that was that, Ducky is SO hard to write oh my gosh... let me know what you think heart... reviews are fic author's crack help feed the addiction. Thank you for all the reviews yesterday it made my day awesome!


	22. Part 21

Title: My Heart Cries for you  
Author: Trista Groulx aka dustytiger  
ating: T (same as the show)  
Disclaimer: I am remain poor and don't own NCIS it belongs to it's creator, network, writers, actors and actresses who bring it to life weekly.  
Summary: It's the big day... times two really. Thank you so much for all the support on this guys, this is the exciting part! Let me know what you think.

* * *

Tony was finally ready to receive the bone marrow transplant that had brought Ziva back into his life. She was holding his hand as he sat in the hospital bed. He barely looked like the same person she had fallen in love with over the years, but at that moment she didn't think she could love him more. She was happy that they were going to commit themselves to each other, but she was also nervous. This certainly wasn't how she expected it would happen, but just like everything else they had done it fit them perfectly.

"Are you sure this is how you want this?" she asked him.

"Yes," he assured her, he always sounded so tired. "When I hit five years remission we'll have a proper ceremony on a beach somewhere but this is what I want right now and I think we both need it. You're sure you want this, Zi?"

She nodded. "Yes, I do."

His bone marrow transplant was scheduled for that day and they knew that it was one of the riskiest parts of his treatment. Despite knowing it was going to be the last hurdle to everything, it wasn't going to be the end of it. Both of them were still amazed the other had agreed to do this, but they were thrilled they were going to devote themselves to each other in front of the people who mattered most. They had even gotten Palmer to agree to be in the room, despite his fear of baby germs making Tony sicker. He kissed her softly, but there was a knock on the door, and she went to open the door.

"Our family is," she told him smiling.

She went back over to him. He was now standing next to the hospital bed. He reached over and took her hand and squeezed it tightly. She was glad that he was still so positive about everything, but she still worried about him. McGee came into the room, and Gibbs, Abby, Bishop, Ducky, Palmer and his father followed shortly after. They were glad that one of their friends was able to perform the simple ceremony. There was still a part of her that was shocked that he had asked her. She was about to marry her best friend wanting to grow old with him, she had to be positive to keep herself from falling apart in front of everyone.

"This wasn't how I thought this would happen," McGee told them. "I'm glad you're letting me such a big part of it."

"We would not have wanted someone we did not know to do this," Ziva assured him. "Thank you for doing this."

"I'm happy to do it, are you both ready?"

"Yes," they both answered at the same time.

"All right, great, let's get started then."

Everyone stood at one end of the hospital room, while Ziva and Tony stood facing each other at the other end of the room with McGee standing behind them. He was nervous about what he was going to do, hoping he'd gotten it right for the couple.

"This isn't a traditional wedding, but we all know Tony and Ziva have never done things the way other expect them to," he started, making everyone chuckle. "I'm supposed to ask if anyone objects to this, but it's about damn time they take the plunge." No one said anything, and they were all smiling.

Tony was gently rubbing Ziva's palm with his finger, trying to keep her calm. He knew that she was still nervous about everything, and wanted to keep her mind focused on that moment because they would never get the chance again; even though he knew he wanted to renew their vows and give her the chance for her perfect wedding this was the one that mattered to them both because of the timing of it. She smiled at him reassuringly.

"Tony repeat after me," he nodded. "Today is the day I chose to devote my life to you," he said and Tony repeated. "You have already shown me that you will be there for me through anything, but I promise you I would do the same for you. You are the love of my life and the person I want to settle down with, that will never change so long as there is air in my lungs. Will you take me as I am to be your husband?"

There were tears I her eyes. "I will, yes."

He grinned at her and moved his hand up to cup her face. She took a deep breath knowing it would be her turn soon, and judging by what McGee had written for Tony she was almost certain she wouldn't be able keep her emotions in cheque. She could see that Abby was dabbing her eyes and even Gibbs seemed to be moved by the personal vows.

"Ziva, repeat after me," she nodded, and squeezed Tony's hand. "Today is the day I chose to devote my life to you," he started and she repeated. "I came back to you when I thought I never could. You helped me to see where I have always belonged and I promise to always be by your side. You are the love of my life and the person I want to have a life with, that will never change so long as there is air in my lung. Will you take me as your wife?"

"I will," he managed to get out before tears started down his cheeks too.

As they both wiped their eyes McGee took the rings out of his pocket. He decided not to have anything too fancy for them to give each other their rings. "Tony, place this ring on Ziva's finger." He nodded, and put the ring on her finger. "Ziva place this ring on Tony's finger." She did and smiled. "You are now married, you may kiss the bride."

Tony leaned in and kissed her softly. She wrapped her arms around him, not wanting to let him go, but she knew she had to. As much as she was happy they were married she was still terrified about what would happen next but didn't want tell him that she wanted to stay positive.

Notes: This was probably one of the hardest parts for me to write, but I think I finally got it to a point where I like it, let me know what you think please.


	23. Part 22

Title: My Heart Cries for you  
Author: Trista Groulx aka dustytiger  
ating: T (same as the show)  
Disclaimer: I am remain poor and don't own NCIS it belongs to it's creator, network, writers, actors and actresses who bring it to life weekly.  
Summary: Had to split this in two thank you so much for the reviews on the last part I'm glad you all seemed to enjoy it. I have the final chapter count, it's gonna be 33 parts plus the epilogue, making it 35 parts in total. Now you know :D

* * *

Everyone was in Tony's hospital room, having just watched them get married. It wasn't anything special, no one was in formal wear, but it had been perfect. The vows McGee had written were short, heartfelt and true. Tony had his arm wrapped around Ziva's middle wanting her as close as possible until the doctor came in to take him for his transplant. Senior was overwhelmed by everything that had just happened, he went over and hugged his son, and new daughter in law. He knew he was going to be there for his son, but knew he would not be able to keep his wits about him if he stayed in the room.

"Congratulations kids," he told them. "I'm so happy for you."

"Thank you," Ziva said, hugging him again, and kissing his cheek.

"My dear, you are an angel on earth, just like Junior's mom." She could only nod at him, fresh tears welling up in her eyes. "Now don't get me started."

Tony shook his father's hand. "Thank you, Dad. If you need to excuse yourself I understand."

Senior nodded at his son, and Tony knew that his father couldn't cry in front of him. He was happy he'd been there for them and that was what he needed. He knew it would be too much for Senior to watch him leave to go down for the transplant, and without words told his father he understood, and the Senior DiNozzo left the hospital room, in search for somewhere private. Abby then pulled them both into a hug.

"I'm so happy, but I think I'm gonna follow him," Abby told them.

"Thank you Abby."

Palmer shook Tony's hand, and hugged Ziva before he excused himself as well, Celeste had had an appointment and he didn't want to miss it even though it was just a checkup. Bishop went over to them and hugged each of them smiling.

"I hope you are as happy as I am," she told them.

"Thank you, Bishop," Tony told her. "That means a lot."

"You're like a brother to me Tony you deserve to be happy, and so does Ziva."

"Thank you," Ziva said smiling.

"I've got some physical I need to pass so I'm gonna take off but if you need anything just let me know."

"I will."

Ducky went over to them next, smiling as he hugged each of them in turn. "You cherish this," he told them. "Marriage is a beautiful thing, and I know you both are going to make it work and beat the odds."

Tony grinned. "No story Ducky?"

"If I begin a story we will be here for a week it would remind me of so many times I have been able to share a wedding with people I've cared about. I am happy for you both, but I do have to get back to work."

They both shook his hand before he left. They were glad that not everyone was going to stick around to watch him go down for the transplant. As much as Tony was optimistic it would help in the long run, he was terrified and he didn't want everyone to see him like that.

"I'm going to go too," McGee told them. "I promised Delilah I we could spend some time together."

Ziva hugged him. "Thank you, it was perfect," she told him.

"You're very welcome Ziva. If you need me to come back later just call me, okay?"

McGee then hugged Tony. As much as McGee was like a brother to him and as happy as he was that he had performed the ceremony, there was only one person he knew he needed to have there since he understood why his father wasn't there. There would have been a time he'd be mad at his father, but he wasn't, and Gibbs seemed to be just as happy to be there for the couple when they needed him the most.

The doctor came into the room quietly. He knew that they were planning on having a simple wedding ceremony and had waited to come in until he saw people leaving, wanting to give the couple as much time as he could, but it was time The change of the mood in the room was palpable. Things had gone from sentimental and happy to being intense. Tony leaned in and kissed her, and she kissed him back, somehow keeping her emotions in cheque.

Tony followed the doctor out of the room, and it was only then that Ziva let out a long sigh which turned into a whimper. As much as she had wanted to be married to him before this happened she knew there was a chance that marriage might only last a few hours. Gibbs could tell her mind was racing, and did the only thing he could, he hugged her. As soon as he did she started to cry. She hadn't cried like this since she lost her father and she was glad she wasn't alone. She was still trying to be positive but she couldn't hide her fears anymore.

"I am scared, Gibbs," she told him.

"It's understandable, let it all out," he assured her, and she began to sob.

"I can't lose him," she whispered after crying for what felt like hours.

"You won't," he assured her, kissing her forehead like he did with Abby.

"How do you know?"

"I know I'm gonna be stuck with DiNozzo for a lot longer."

She let out a tiny laugh, then wiped her tears away. "I should not have broken down like that."

"It's normal to feel that way when someone you love is hurting."

She then hugged him tightly, for the first time she started to understand what it might have been like for him to lose his wife and daughter. He hugged her back, neither of them needing to say anymore, but he still prayed to a deity he wasn't sure he believed in that a member of his family would not have to go through half the pain he had all those years ago. Now all they could do was wait for news.

Notes: All right so the next part is a little more nerve wreaking just so you know. I hope you are still liking this fic, please let me know. Heart love this couple.


	24. Part 23

Title: My Heart Cries for you  
Author: Trista Groulx aka dustytiger  
ating: T (same as the show)  
Disclaimer: I am remain poor and don't own NCIS it belongs to it's creator, network, writers, actors and actresses who bring it to life weekly.  
Summary: Waiting is difficult Senior and Ziva bond. Some of you are worried about Tony's fate you are new to the world of dustytiger fic, I am known as the fluff queen, hence this being outside my comfort zone, but I'm true to the title.

* * *

Ziva, Senior, Gibbs and Abby were all sitting in one of the hospital's waiting room all waiting for news ad updates about Tony. Abby had agreed to keep Bishop and McGee updated so each could focus on what they needed to Bishop on passing her physical, and McGee so he could spend some extra time with Delilah. Gibbs had agreed to call Ducky when he got any news. Everyone was glad that they hadn't got called in for a case, because if they had no one on the team would have been able to focus. Vance had already agreed to give Ziva the day off and it had worked out that one else needed to be there other than Ducky who had also given Palmer the day off because of an appointment with Celeste.

"I'm gonna go grab something to eat, what would everyone like?" asked Abby, hearing her own stomach growling.

"I'd kill for a burger and fries about now Abby," Senior told her.

"I can make that happen, Gibbs?"

"A burger and fries works for me Abs," he assured her.

"Great! Ziva?"

"Nothing, thank you Abby," she replied.

"You haven't eaten anything all day. You must be hungry."

"I am but I don't be able to keep anything down right now I am too nervous. Thank you just the same."

"You know what? I'll go with you," Gibbs told her, standing up getting the impression Senior needed some time his new daughter in law.

"All right, great, I'll bring you back that burger and fries for you Mister D," she assured him smiling and heading out the door with Gibbs.

Senior moved to sit next to her and took her hand, she smiled at him softly for moment but then tears began to well up in her eyes again. He ran his fingers along his cheek and the tears began to fall again. She was a wreck she had never been so worried in her life. Her father had taught her that tears were a sign of weakness and she certainly felt weak crying in front of Tony's father.

"I am sorry, I know this is hard on you as well, I should not be acting like this," she sighed.

"It's fine, my dear," he assured her.

"I have never felt like this before a part of me is so happy that we're finally married, and another of me is more scared than I've ever been because I know how serious this could be. I can't lose him Mister DiNozzo."

"He's fought this hard so far and I know he'll keep doing just that for you. That's why he wanted to marry her before this."

"It still cannot believe he gave me another chance."

"He loves you, he knows that this time with you is real and you're worth everything to him. He's loved you for a long time but was scared to tell you."

"Tony has never been scared before all this happened."

"Not true my dear. He may not have shown you before but things have scared him, he's hidden when he's been scared most of his life because of something stupid I told him when he was young. I made so many mistakes with him; sometimes I don't know how he turned out so good."

"He learned to deal with the hand he was dealt and I think he learned that from you."

He shook his head. "That's all from his mother, that woman was a saint, after all she put up with me. After we lost her I wanted to teach him how to be a man, and forgot he was still a child. I had no idea what I was doing with him, that's why I sent him to that boarding school. It wasn't because I didn't want him, I always wanted him there but because I thought he could learn from people who knew what they were doing."

"Have you told him that?"

He shook his head. "I don't think he'd believe me. I know it was awful for him to be there. I should have listened when he told me but I thought he was just homesick and would get over it."

She hugged him. "I am glad you told me. We'll make him understand when he's ready to hear it.'

"You're too good to us my dear." He kissed her forehead. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"Coming back, donating, everything you've done for him. If it wasn't for you Ziva I would have lost my son before I ever got the chance to get to know him."

"I do not know what to say."

He squeezed her hand softly. "You don't need to say anything."

He hugged her for a long moment, then the two of them sat in the waiting room, he was still holding her hand. She was glad that he was it made her feel less alone, almost like she did when Tony would hold her hand. The door squeaked open and Abby and Gibbs returned. Abby gave Senior what he'd asked for for lunch then sat down on the other side of Ziva, taking her hand. The door squeaked open again and Tony's doctor came in. They all looked up at him.

"I've got good news, there was no complications from the procedure, he's still out but you may go see him if you want."

They all thanked the doctor and went back into his room to wait some more. They knew that there was still other hurdles for him but the worst of it was now over. It felt like a weight was lifted off of everyone. Abby was busily texting, and Gibbs had gone into the hall to make the phone call. Now all they could do was hope that the leukemia was in remission and would stay that way and he could recover from having the transplant.

Notes: That wasn't so bad, right? Some of you had dire predictions, but when I write fic I like happy endings. Well let me know what you think about this one.


	25. Part 24

Title: My Heart Cries for you  
Author: Trista Groulx aka dustytiger  
ating: T (same as the show)  
Disclaimer: I am remain poor and don't own NCIS it belongs to it's creator, network, writers, actors and actresses who bring it to life weekly.  
Summary: Tony wakes up to find Ziva right there. It's been brought to my attention that the transplant scenario is off, so I'm sorry about that, next time more research. Anyway still hoping you like this.

* * *

Ziva was sitting in Tony's hospital room as she had been since he had been brought back from his transplant. Abby had brought her lunch from despite her not asking for anything, just a large chicken salad, which she had nibbled on a little, and was eating slowly as the day went on. She held his hand quietly praying that he would wake up soon. She knew that it was a good sign that there had been no complications and while it was like a weight lifted off her, but she needed to see for herself that he was fine.

Gibbs had agreed to let her have a few days off, knowing her head wouldn't fully be there after everything that just happened. She couldn't help but smile when she touched the simple gold band he now wore on his left hand. It still didn't feel real that they were married because of the simple bedside ceremony they had had with only their friends there, with no dresses or anything like but the more she admired their rings the more it hit her; this man was her husband, and for the first time in a long time she could be optimistic about their future together. His treatment was over, the transplant had worked, and although he would need to be in the hospital until his immune system was stronger he would be going home to her when the time came.

She ran her fingers along his cheeks, fighting tears as she did so. She finally knew what it felt like to be completely in love with another human being. She knew that after everything they had been through they had a strong foundation to their marriage but there would always be a part of her that wished it hadn't taken something so difficult for them to find happiness. She leaned in and kissed his cheek softly, needing to feel his warm skin, and fill her nostrils with the smell of him even when it was mixed with the sterile smell of the hospital. She thought she felt him move and pulled away from the innocent embrace.

"My ninja," he rasped, his eyes opening, staring right at her.

"Tony," she whispered, tears starting to roll down her cheeks.

"Hey, don't cry Zi, it's okay."

"I cannot help it. You're awake."

He nodded. "I am and you're here my beautiful – wife."

More tears fell down her cheeks. "Yes I am so happy you are awake."

"I finally got you to keep nothing would keep me from getting to show the world you're mine."

She smiled at him. "I love you so much."

He took his hands to cup her cheeks. "And I love you, too. It took us too long to get here."

She nodded. "It has. If anyone told me when we first met that we would end up married I would have had them committed."

She remembered how they had first met, and it hadn't been pretty. She'd accused him of having phone sex, when the truth could not be farther than what she had thought. She thought he was a chauvinist and had treated him very badly. She had done things to him that she wasn't proud of but after everything with Rivikin things started to change. It took her a long time to realise he had done what he had had to in that moment, and she had been so angry she couldn't see it. After he had come to save her in Somalia everything was different they put the past behind them and worked on being partners who could trust each other with their lives and later friends. Much later they were able to explore real feelings they shared despite some questionable moments, and finally they fell in love without anything getting physical until much later.

"I know, me too," he let out a small laugh. "I obviously thought you were gorgeous when I first met you but we had a rough start to things."

"It makes our relationship now stronger, I think," she told him.

"I agree. I still can't believe we're married, and I don't even get to take you on a honeymoon, or even get my way with you tonight."

She laughed despite everything. "I am just happy you're still you."

"I'm not about to change now." He then yawned.

"You are tired, you should rest."

"I don't want to rest, I want to hold you, kiss you, love you."

She kissed his cheek softly. "I know but, Tony you're still going to be here for a few weeks at the very least."

He sighed. "I know, but come here, we can both fit, I can tell you're tired too."

"Tony," she warned him.

He moved to the side of the bed, glad the guardrail was up on that side. He then took her hand gently urging her to lay down with him. She knew she couldn't fight him, and curled up with him on the hospital bed. He sighed happily wrapping his arms around her. She took his hand and squeezed in softly. He buried his nose in her hair, taking a deep breath and she had to stifle a moan. It felt good to be so close to him, it had been so long since she had.

"I love you, Zi," he whispered.

"I love you too," she replied.

It didn't take long for them to fall asleep like that. He didn't know it but she'd hardly been sleeping since she was back. Having him close was exactly what she needed. Neither of them heard the soft knock at the door. Gibbs let himself in and smiled seeing them both asleep curled up together like that. He pulled the hospital blanket up over them, then went to the nurses station. One of the nurses came over to him.

"That was quick, Gibbs," she told him.

He shrugged. "They were asleep."

"They?"

"Yes, I don't how they managed it but they did. Do you think just for tonight you could bend the visitors' rules?"

She smiled at him. "I think we can do that you only get one first night with your spouse."

"Usually," he laughed. "Thank you."

"See you soon."

He nodded and left the hospital. Before he set out for home he warned the rest of the team that they should wait to visit DiNozzo until the next day, not explaining why, wanting to give the couple some privacy and space. Gibbs knew that it was positive that he had clearly been awake at some point but knew he still had healing to do, and hoped that having Ziva close would help with that. He never thought the two of them would end up married but he was happy for them. He pulled into his driveway and went down to the basement starting a new project, something he hadn't wanted to build in a long time.

Notes: I hope you liked this, I know it's not the ideal first night with your spouse, but I think they needed it. Reviews are good for the soul :D


	26. Part 25

Title: My Heart Cries for you  
Author: Trista Groulx aka dustytiger  
ating: T (same as the show)  
Disclaimer: I am remain poor and don't own NCIS it belongs to it's creator, network, writers, actors and actresses who bring it to life weekly.  
Summary: A skip ahead, Tony's going home. This one is a little short but it's what my muse gave me.

* * *

Ziva was thrilled that Tony was finally going to be coming home. It had been four weeks since his stem cell transplant, and he'd been in the hospital twelve weeks for treatment. There was still a chance that the cancer could come back, but the doctors felt he could have outpatient treatment at long last, knowing he would heal best from home. He was still months out from returning to work, but no one seemed to care. They were all happy to have Ziva back while they could. He had packed up the things he had accumulated surprised by how much he had, and was waiting for Ziva to come back to the room.

"All right," Ziva told him grinning. "Hop onto your chariot and you're free."

He sat down in the wheelchair, although he wanted to sashay all the way out of the hospital, and let her wheel him to the door, where he stood up and went toward his car, which she had been using since she was home. They decided they would decide after he was back at work and she decided what she was going to do next if they would need a second car. He took her hand as they drove, she smiled at him. He noticed that her driving was not as aggressive as he was used to as they drove home. It suddenly hit him that his apartment was now their home. She pulled into their parking spot and he was suddenly totally calm about their living situation. They went up the apartment and she opened the door.

When they got inside she hung up her keys on a key ring he'd never seen before, which she hung next to his familiar key ring. He took a deep breath and only a moment later his lips were all over hers. He was pulling her toward the bedroom.

"Tony, Tony," she gasped. "Relax, we just got in."

"It's been over a year since I've been with you, you're not stopping me. My energy is mostly back, and if you tire me out so be it, but we are going to our bedroom and I am doing to you what I have been dreaming about for way too long. If I fall asleep three seconds later I don't care, I'll be in my bed and I know when I wake up you'll still be there."

She ran her fingers along his cheek. "While I want that too we may need to put it on hold until we've had dinner."

"Something in here does smell amazing, how did you manage that?"

"Your dad put it in the oven from me when we left the hospital."

"What did you make?"

"Lasagna, he showed me how to make my own pasta noodles a few weeks ago so it's really homemade this time, and I made some bread for garlic bread as well."

"You thought of everything."

"Your dad told me about how lasagna was your favourite food growing up and I thought that it would be the right meal for you to have when you got home."

"Thank you Ziva. I guess I can keep my hands off of you until after we eat."

She laughed. "All right, I am so happy you are home."

"Me too it'll be amazing to not have a nurse checking in on me every few hours, thankfully because of you I haven't missed real food, but it'll be great to eat at the kitchen table again with you. There were times where I was worried we might not be able to do this, I tried to keep positive but it was hard knowing that the same thing took my mother away."

"Treatment has come a long way, Tony. I am so happy you're in remission and home. I am also excited for you father being closer, I only wish it had not taken this for you two to be so close now."

"Me too, but I finally have a dad and that feels amazing, I think you had something to do with us getting along so well though Zi."

"I do not think if I had anything to do with it Tony."

"You can believe what you want to, but I know what I feel. I'm happy to have him in my life, and I'm even happier to know that I finally get to start our life together."

She kissed him softly, and for a long moment they relaxed into the embrace, getting lost in each other. He had her hand on her waist, pulling her closer when they heard something beeping from the oven. As much as they wanted to ignore it they knew they didn't want to burn down the apartment their first night together at home. She pulled away from him reluctantly then went into the kitchen. She took the lasagna out of the oven, and put the bread in. Before long they had finished their meal, and although she had made pecan pie for desert they were both ready for more and the ended up in the bedroom together wanting nothing more than to celebrate him being home and better.

Notes: Well that was that, I hope you like it I love hearing from you.


	27. Part 26

Title: My Heart Cries for you  
Author: Trista Groulx aka dustytiger  
ating: T (same as the show)  
Disclaimer: I am remain poor and don't own NCIS it belongs to it's creator, network, writers, actors and actresses who bring it to life weekly.  
Summary: Senior visits how will things go now that Tony's better?

* * *

Tony had been home about a week. He was happy to be in his own bed, happier to have Ziva next to him in that bed. He was already feeling restless because he wasn't working but he knew the doctors weren't going to let him return any time soon. His father was still in the area and he decided that they should have dinner with him before he headed back to New York. Since he had been able to get there his father had been very supportive and the two men were closer than they had ever been. He was even going to miss his father after he went home, which was a new feeling for him; usually by the time his father boarded the plane home Tony was exasperated and glad to see him go.

"Tony, are you sure you do not want help?" Ziva asked, looking up from the book she was curled up on the couch reading.

"I'm good Zi!" he assured her, starting to set the table.

He decided to make roast beef with potatoes and carrots, he remembered that his mother had always made it for his father's birthday and wanted to show that he remembered the good times they had had. As much as he hated that it had taken something so serious he was glad he was finally getting the chance to have this with his father. Both men knew the reason behind why they were finally connecting was negative but they both wanted to see it positively.

He looked at the table, checked on the food then looked around the apartment to make sure it was clean. As much as he knew his father probably didn't care what his apartment looked like he wanted everything to be perfect. He heard the buzzer go off and he let his father in. When he let him in Senior was holding a bottle of wine.

"You kids must be happy you don't need to see hospital rooms anymore," he said as a greeting.

"We certainly are Mister DiNozzo," Ziva assured him.

"That's so stuffy my dear, I know you can't call me Tony, since I am not your Tony, but perhaps if it's not too much to ask, you might start to call me Dad now that you are my daughter."

She smiled. "I think I can do that Si- Dad."

"It may take some time. Something smells amazing, was that your doing my dear?"

She shook her head. "I worked all day, this was all Tony."

"I sometimes forget his mom showed him how to get around a kitchen. She embroidered him his very own apron," he laughed at the memory. "Do you remember that, son?"

"No, not really, I remember her showing me how to make a few things, and how she would let me knead bread and stuff."

"She loved having you by her side when she could, his little blue apron read 'Junior cook Junior,' I may have a picture of it somewhere. I put a lot of things like that are in storage but I think is far past due to take out and share those memories again."

"I'd really like that, Dad," Tony told him.

"I'll make sure to bring them when I next visit."

"Or we could come visit you while I'm off."

Senior was surprised to hear his son say that, Junior didn't come home often, and he had certainly never been home with someone else before. He would sometimes come home for Christmas but even that had been rare. He hated that it took something so dramatic for them to get their relationship where it was and they both knew Ziva had a lot to do with what happened between them although she would deny it. He wanted Ziva to see where he'd grown up to see Senior when he was home where he wanted to be.

"I'd like that, I don't think you've ever brought a woman to see me," Senior told him.

"Ziva isn't just any woman," he reminded him.

"You're right about that Junior, this beautiful creature is a keeper."

Ziva's cheeks turned slightly pink when she heard that. "Stop I am the lucky one."

"I think you kids are fifty fifty," Senior told them. "You both give each other what the other needs, just like I did when I had Tony's mother."

"Dad," he sighed. "What Ziva and I have is nothing like what you had with Mom."

"That's where you're wrong son, you might not see it but I do. I'm happy you kids have something great and I know you'll always fight to keep what you've got."

The two of them nodded, both smiling at each other. Tony pulled her closer to him without even realising it. Senior smiled seeing that. It's what he wanted for his son for a long time, but never taught him how to find. It took him almost losing his son too to realise how lucky he was to still have him in his life at all. Now all Senior wanted to do was build his relationship with his son and daughter and law, and hopefully when the time was right get to enjoy being a grandfather, and teach any children they might have how to learn to love. He knew he would keep moving forward with his son and he could tell he wanted that too for the first time in a long time.

Notes: Hope you liked it there will be another part with Senior a little while later. The kitchen stuff is inspired by cooking with my nephew, who proudly told his mom that he beat up bread when I let him knead some bread for me lol... anyway let me know what you think. Always love to hear from 'ya.


	28. Part 27

Title: My Heart Cries for you  
Author: Trista Groulx aka dustytiger  
ating: T (same as the show)  
Disclaimer: I am remain poor and don't own NCIS it belongs to it's creator, network, writers, actors and actresses who bring it to life weekly.  
Summary: The couple have their friends over. Things are starting to wind down, and loose ends are being tied up, thank you all sooo much for all the support it means soo much to me.

* * *

Tony had been home for about a month, his hair was starting to grow back, although it was a little darker than it had been. Since he was home he'd been bored and hated not getting to see everyone he worked enough so he'd invited them all for dinner. It had been a while since he'd made an Italian meal but once he got it started it all came back to him. He remembered being in the kitchen with his mom, standing on his stool helping her put things in the pot, and stirring. He couldn't help but let his mind wonder to what it might be like to watch Ziva with any children they might have in the kitchen together. Ziva was a much better cook than he was but he couldn't ask her to prepare a meal for everyone while she was working.

He had decided to make lasagna with salad and some garlic bread. He put the lasagna in the oven hoping he hadn't forgotten anything in either the sauce recipe or the one for the noodles it had been a long time since he'd used them. He was just putting the salad into the bowl when he heard the door open. He went to greet Ziva who laughed seeing him wearing a "kiss the cook" apron. He leaned in and kissed her but she pulled away a moment later in a fit of laughter.

"What's so funny?" he asked.

"You in an apron Tony," she replied curling up into him, kissing him softly. "Something smells amazing though."

"I made lasagna. It's funny while I was making it I started to remember when I was little helping my mom in the kitchen. I used to love helping her, but Gran never cooked with me, she told me that men don't cook."

"She was old fashioned Tony, I think it is very sexy when a man can cook."

He laughed. "You're just trying to get me to cook more often."

"Maybe, do you need help with anything before everyone arrives?"

"No, I think I've got everything under control. I set the tables and I put out the red wine the white is still in the fridge. I got the salad together, and the bread is ready to go in the oven right before this is done."

She laughed. "Such a good house husband I have," she joked.

"Once the docs clear me I'm going back to work."

"And I am hanging up my gun."

He was about to kiss her again but someone needed to be buzzed up. He let them in not surprised that Gibbs was the first to arrive. McGee showed up next, without Delilah who was at physiotherapy and didn't want him to miss out on the evening. Ducky and Palmer arrived next, Breena stayed home with Celeste because the baby had a cold. Abby showed up last explaining she'd stopped to get cupcakes for everyone. It hadn't been easy to make room for everyone, and had to bring his poker table into the kitchen. Everyone made themselves comfortable and it wasn't long before dinner was on the table.

"Did you really make this Tony?" Abby asked.

"Why is everyone also so shocked to learn that I know how to cook?"

"Maybe because you always have take-out," McGee suggested.

"I have some time on my hands right now, although I might have a little less time for the next month or so."

"Why's that?" asked Palmer.

"Ziva and I decided to buy a house, so I'll be packing while she's working."

"That's great!" McGee exclaimed.

"You're only saying that cause you won the bet," Abby sighed.

"What bet?" asked Ziva.

"I said you invited us over cause you got a new place, she thought you were pregnant," McGee explained.

"We are not ready for that," laughed Ziva, uncertainly as they hadn't really talked about that they were focusing on adjusting to living together and keeping their marriage strong.

Tony laughed. "The next time we have everyone over we'll have the space for everyone and maybe some space for a few extras too, but I think we made it work for tonight."

"You did, everything's perfect," Abby assured him.

"Thanks Abs," he told her smiling.

They all sat down and Tony brought the salad to the table first. Everyone took what they wanted, but saving room of the lasagna they could all smell. He took it out of the oven and gave everyone a portion, and put the bread in basket in the middle of the table.

"Tony this is amazing!" Abby told him. "You really made it yourself?"

"I agree," Bishop told him. "This is the best lasagna I've ever had."

"Thanks, I made the noodles and the sauce I'm Italian it's in my blood, at least that's what my mom used to say."

"I do not believe I've ever had fresh pasta before," Ducky told them. "This is certainly a treat, and very tasty."

"Thanks Ducky, I was afraid I'd forgotten since it's been a while since I've made it," he explained.

"I'm impressed, Tony," McGee agreed. "This is amazing."

"Well done, DiNozzo," Gibbs agreed.

He found it funny that everyone was so shocked that he could cook. He was finding that it was helping him get his mind off of work while he was home. He liked that he was able to see his work family and cook for them. He had enjoyed having more people to cook for and decided he wanted to do it more often, even after he was back at work. He finally understood why both his grandmother and mother would get so happy when they got to host a family meal.

The whole team ended up staying later than any of them had expected just talking and enjoying getting to spend a quiet night together without the stresses of work weighing on them. They all knew they wanted to try to make something like this happen more often but it was so hard sometimes. Everyone had things to focus on outside of work but they knew with more space for everyone they would at least be able to try to include the people who were quickly becoming their extended family.

Notes: Hope you enjoyed this, there will be a baby discussion later hehe... Reviews are good for the soul. :D


	29. Part 28

Title: My Heart Cries for you  
Author: Trista Groulx aka dustytiger  
ating: T (same as the show)  
Disclaimer: I am remain poor and don't own NCIS it belongs to it's creator, network, writers, actors and actresses who bring it to life weekly.  
Summary: Tony is diagnosed with leukemia and needs to rely on his family for support.  
Notes: Tony faces something he hasn't one is a little heavy, possibly inspired from some great plotting sessions with my friend Jen. Please let me know you're still with me. This one is a little different for me.

* * *

It was a few weeks before Tony was going back to work when he decided they should visit his father like they had agreed to do. He had never brought anyone to New York to see where he grew up before but he knew it was well past time that he brought her; he had after all he had seen where she had grown up however briefly. After they'd landed he'd rented a car, and before he headed to his father's he wanted to bring her somewhere he hadn't been in years. She didn't say anything as they pulled into a cemetery, knowing that he needed to do this. He parked and when they got out of the car she took his hand, he smiled at her.

"I've never wanted to bring anyone here before," he explained.

"I am glad I am the first," she told him.

They walked through the cemetery until he found what he was looking for, a simple grave stone which read "Alison Paddington-DiNozzo beloved wife and devoted mother." He sighed softly, tears in his eyes. She pulled him into a hug. He sighed softly glad to have her close but still trying to keep his emotions in cheque. She kissed his cheek softly and he held her a few minutes more. He took a deep breath needing to centre himself. He had brought a bouquet of blue tulips, which had been her favourite she had even had them in her wedding photos, in front of the grave marker, and bowed his head. Ziva bowed her head as well both saying a silent prayer.

"Hi Mom, I know I don't come as often as I should. I miss you so much," he said, squeezing Ziva's hand. "I want you to meet someone, I wish I could really introduce you. This is Ziva, she's my wife. You'd love her." There were tears in his eyes again, and this time they fell down his cheeks. "It's not fair I wasn't ready for you to go."

Ziva hugged him. "Tony I am here for you."

"Thank you Zi. She was with me through everything Mom, even when I'd tell her to leave she'd stay. She's good for me Mom. I wish you would have had the same chance as I had."

Ziva could feel tears welling up in her own eyes as he spoke to his mother. She had been taught a lot of things about heaven growing up. She had seen her fair share of death even when she was young, but seeing Tony like that was overwhelming. He had his guard completely down letting her see and feel his pain in a way she knew he had never let anyone see before; not even his father.

As she stood with him she could almost picture the young Tony being at the funeral, afraid to cry, and not understanding what was going on. She couldn't have imagined what it must have been like to feel like that being so young. He pulled her into his arms, and it took her a moment to realise he'd started to cry. She rubbed his back to help reassure and comfort him, not sure what else to do for him at that moment.

"Zi, I'm sorry," he whispered, hiding his tear stained face from her.

"Do not apologise for how you feel Tony, you never have to with me," she assured him.

"Thank you," he whispered.

She had never heard his voice sound so small. She knew that what he was feeling had been bottled up in in him for a long time and she wanted to help him get it out. She knew he needed to deal with all of those feelings he'd had to keep inside for so long to help him to fully heal from what had just happened to him. She knew there was a part of him that still felt guilty about surviving something his mother hadn't. She wanted him to know she would always be there for him like she had promised.

"Is it okay to miss her?" Tony asked.

She kissed his cheek softly. "Yes, it is, there are times I miss Tali, my mother, even my father despite everything, it's perfectly normal. You just went through something very difficult which had you thinking about how you lost her, and I know there were times where you weren't sure if you'd survive either."

He nodded. "I'm lucky to have you by my side. See Mom, she's amazing."

"Tony," she protested.

"I know you don't like me saying that stuff but you are amazing to me, you always will be."

They stayed a little while longer at the cemetery, she wanted to be sure he had done what he needed to do there. He hugged her tightly, then kissed her cheek after a while. He then took her hand and they went back toward the car. He gave her the keys, too emotionally drained to want to drive. She took them and they got into the car. As soon as she had put on her seat belt she reached out for his hand. He squeezed it, and smiled at her for a moment, before more tears fell down his cheeks, wanting to get it all out before he went to his father's. She didn't know what to do for him, so she held his hand, and let him get everything out before she started the car to visit his father. They were both looking forward to seeing him as well as showing her where he grew up, but they were both a little worried about how hard this would be on him. He knew it was well past time for him to deal with these feelings and to take that step with his father but he knew it wouldn't be easy and he was glad he had her by his side to help him heal, and move forward.

Notes: So that was that, Senior will be in the next part I promise. Keep the kind words coming guys. I really hope I made this work.


	30. Part 29

Title: My Heart Cries for you  
Author: Trista Groulx aka dustytiger  
ating: T (same as the show)  
Disclaimer: I am remain poor and don't own NCIS it belongs to it's creator, network, writers, actors and actresses who bring it to life weekly.  
Summary: Tony is diagnosed with leukemia and needs to rely on his family for support.  
Notes: Tony and Ziva visit with Senior. I thought we needed something a little lighter after the last one. Hope you like another look at Senior, I love him so very much.

* * *

After visiting his mother's grave, Tony and Ziva hoped that their visit with Senior would be a little lighter. He'd needed to go there with her and he felt better for having done it but a part of him was drained. He was looking forward to just being able to relax with his father, and look at old pictures he told him he'd finally taken out of storage. Both DiNozzos were looking forward to sharing those memories with Ziva. He pulled up to his father's apartment complex and parked in the visitor's parking.

"This is where I grew up Zi," he told her.

"Really?" she asked. "Your father never moved?"

He shook his head. "His memories with Mom were enough to keep him here. With all that happened it was nice to know I could go home, even if I've never done it enough."

"Maybe we can start some new traditions together with your father."

"I'd like that and I know he would too."

He put his hand on the small of her back as they went inside. He smiled at the doorman who he'd met a few times before. "Are you going up to see Mister D?" he asked. "Who's with you today?"

"It's been too long since I've been here. Carlos this is my wife, Ziva."

"It's nice to meet you Ziva, I hope that Tony doesn't have the revolving door of wives Mister D does."

Tony chuckled. "This woman would murder me and hide the body and no one would know what happened to me if I fucked this up."

The doorman laughed. "Good, I'll see you both later."

They went toward the elevator, and he wrapping his arm around her as they rode up to the penthouse apartment he had ridden up to so many times before. This time was different he was standing taller, looking forward to showing her the place that would always feel like home to him. Despite everything that happened his father never lost his home, and that was one of the reasons he always tried to have some sort of relationship with his father because he knew deep down inside they both knew that Senior kept this place for his son and everything they shared in that apartment.

He knocked on the door, and Senior opened it, smiling at them both. Ziva looked around the apartment and was surprised how homey it was despite everything being just so. She had always pictured Senior in an over the top showy apartment. She was surprised that there were no pictures on the walls, just artwork. Seeing the apartment made her understand Tony even more. It was very similar to the apartment they now shared, with everything in its place so that no one could get to know them unless they wanted it.

"Welcome to my home, my dear," he greeted Ziva and hugged her, and kissed her cheek. "It's about time you brought someone here Junior. I have your old room all set up for you."

"Thanks Dad."

"Go ahead get freshened up and then we'll visit and I'll show you what I took out of storage."

"That sounds great," Ziva told him.

They took their things and he brought her to the room which used to be his. His father hadn't changed a lot of the room, other than getting a bigger bed. She looked around the room, and even his childhood room seemed to be orderly like his home. There was a bookcase that had a lot of books on it, mostly from his childhood. There were a few posters on the walls as well, none of which surprised her.

"I guess you know a lot about younger Tony just from this," he sighed.

She kissed him softly on the lips. "I love all those parts of you Tony, I am happy you can and want to show me this part of your life."

He nodded. "All right, thanks Zi."

"I like getting to see how you grew up, and I cannot wait to see what your father has. I want to know what our babies might look like."

He laughed nervously. "Let's not get ahead of ourselves."

She nodded. "I don't know what I want from the future right now I am focused on making our marriage work and keeping you healthy."

"All right good."

The two of them went into the living room where Senior was taking things out of a box. They sat down on the couch together, and he handed them one of the photo albums. Tony hadn't seen them in years, he still couldn't believe they were in his hands and that he would be showing them to Ziva. He opened the first one and was full of pictures of him as a baby.

"Look at you pudgy cheeks," Ziva told him. "You were such a cute baby."

"I think someone is hoping to have a few little DiNozzos of her own," joked Senior.

"If they are this cute I would be very happy, but that is not where we are in our relationship," she assured him. "We like it being just us right now, we didn't live together or date much before we were married and it seems right to focus on the present with all that's happened in the past year."

"Fair enough, but I do hope you will make me grandfather at some point."

"It could happen, Dad."

Tony wasn't sure if he wanted kids, but he knew that this was not the time or place to talk with Ziva about it. The two of them focused on the photo albums that Senior was sharing with them. Seeing the pictures brought back a lot of great memories for him and he could tell that Ziva was enjoying getting to see this part of his life. She had a few family photo albums that she had shared with him before so it was nice getting to do the same thing with him and Senior. She thought the whole evening was perfect and she was glad that she was able to share it with her husband. It was nice to get to see his past even and how he'd grown up. She understood that parts of it were not ideal but he and his father were trying to work pas that, and that's what mattered. She knew that going to visit Senior had been great for both men. As much as they all hated the reason they had gotten to this point they were all happy they were there and focused on that.

Notes: Yeah I know that was evil, mentioned babies again, but didn't have the big talk, it will happen I swear.


	31. Part 30

Title: My Heart Cries for you  
Author: Trista Groulx aka dustytiger  
ating: T (same as the show)  
Disclaimer: I am remain poor and don't own NCIS it belongs to it's creator, network, writers, actors and actresses who bring it to life weekly.  
Summary: Tony is diagnosed with leukemia and needs to rely on his family for support.  
Notes: The baby talk, but... you'll see. Okay I lied, again it's going to be 35 parts plus the epilogue. This is one of the parts I added on the fly. Oh and I'm a little bit evil. Let me know if you're still reading this one guy.

* * *

Tony was curled up under a blanket with Ziva watching a movie. He had taken it upon himself to share some of his favourites with her when they had time. She seemed to be enjoying their somewhat regular movie nights, although sometimes she would pull out a book as he watched a particular movie that didn't hold her attention, just happy to be curled up with her husband, not looking for more. That night she was watching the movie he'd chosen, but he noticed she seemed to be distant.

"Hey, Zi, what's on your mind?" he asked as the credits began.

"I am not sure if I am ready to share," she told him honestly.

"You know you can tell me anything."

"I know, when we visited your father he said something about grandchildren you said we'd talk about it."

"We will."

"When?"

"You seem to want to do this now so I guess we're gonna talk."

He could tell she wanted to talk about it, and he knew he probably wouldn't be able to stall the conversation much longer. He took her hand but she pulled it away from him. He started at the floor, trying to find the words he needed to tell her. His mind was racing trying to figure out what he thought about this, but he couldn't sort out what he really felt.

"And you do not Tony," she told him.

"I never said that," he retorted.

"You do not have to."

He sighed loudly, he knew they would eventually have to have this conversation with her, but it didn't make him feel any less uneasy about it. He wasn't sure what he should tell her what he felt about having kids. It wasn't something he'd ever really thought about much. He had a feeling he already knew what she wanted, and was worried everything would change between them if he told her how he felt. He ran his fingers through her hair, but she pulled away from him again.

"Tony, are you avoiding this because it is something you do not want?" she asked.

"Ziva," he sighed. "I've never been around kids much before Palmer adopted Celeste, but they terrify me honestly. They're always sticky, and a little smelly. I guess if it was my own kid I'd feel different but honestly Ziva I don't know if it's something that I want."

"I should not be surprised."

"I'm trying to be honest with you. It's not something that's come up before."

"I find that hard to believe."

She knew a lot about his history with women. She knew he had in fact had a few serious relationships that had all failed for some reason or another. She was also sure that at some point in his life one of the women he had been with would have told him she might have found herself pregnant. She had had the discussion with a few men in her own past, and found it hard to believe he had never talked about it before. She didn't want to force him into wanting something he didn't but she wanted him to be honest with her.

"You know my past, I haven't had that many serious relationships. When I was engaged to Wendy she told me she never wanted kids. Maybe that meant she didn't want them with me, I never asked her, but she adamant she never wanted kids when we were together."

"What do you want?" she asked.

"I don't know."

"That is not an answer!" she snapped.

"If you're going to force my hand right now I'm going to have to say no because it's all I've got."

"Then you have made up your mind," she growled.

She felt like she'd been slapped in the face. Had he not realised that she wanted to be a mother before everything had happened? It was something she always knew she wanted, and now finding out that it may no longer be an option hurt. He made her happy, and she knew he would continue to do so but there was a part of her that she knew would always want more if they decided children were not a part of their future.

"You're mad at me?" he asked.

"Yes I am!"

"I'm not gonna sit here and lie to you Ziva! Right now I don't want kids. Things are good between us and I don't want to change that."

"I am not saying it will happen tomorrow, I am just wondering if it could happen."

"I don't know," he sighed. "That's my answer, I have no idea if I want kids because I haven't thought about it before."

"I think it would be best if you stayed down here tonight."

"I think you're right."

She stormed up the stairs, and he sat there stunned. He'd been honest with her but he understood why she was upset. He then pulled out the couch bed, and found the sheets for it. He knew he should talk to her, but he wasn't going to lie to her in order to get on her good side. He needed to think about this, and figure out what he actually wanted. He knew now what she wanted, and hoped he could find a way to want the same thing.

He had never been around children much before and that's what scared him. He hadn't had a good example of how to be a father, and although he was sure that Ziva would make a great mother he didn't know how he would do. He didn't want to be the reason their child ended up screwed up like so many criminals he'd seen in his career. He laid in the bed, wide awake, his mind racing, hating not having Ziva next to him. He tried to figure out what it was he really wanted in the future, and hoped that he could explain what he was feeling when they were ready to talk about it again. He hoped he would get some sleep because he had something planned for the next day he would need energy for.

Notes: Okay, so this isn't how anyone wanted this talk to pan out. There's a couple parts before Tony gives her a solid answer. Just so you know. I added this one cause I realised I'd missed something. Reviews are a little down the last couple of parts let me know what you're thinking as this fic nears the finish line.


	32. Part 31

Title: My Heart Cries for you  
Author: Trista Groulx aka dustytiger  
ating: T (same as the show)  
Disclaimer: I am remain poor and don't own NCIS it belongs to it's creator, network, writers, actors and actresses who bring it to life weekly.  
Summary: Tony is diagnosed with leukemia and needs to rely on his family for support.  
Notes: Tony has a surprise up his sleeve for Ziva. This part was already written before the baby argument so that's not resolved in this one, or the next one but the one after that. Please trust me.

* * *

Tony and Ziva were still in the process of moving into their new townhouse. They had the apartment until the end of the moth and were still unpacking whenever they could, and they still had to find time to clean the apartment. Tony had decided to surprise Ziva, after she had gone to Israel he'd put the things he had left behind in storage assuming she would come back eventually, but he never thought that it would end up like it had but he couldn't be happier about it.

He knew he wouldn't be able to rearrange the furniture himself so he'd hired some movers who were meeting him at the storage unit he'd been renting. He planned on changing some of the furniture as well as adding some since there were parts of the townhouse that seemed sparse. He wanted to be their home and a reflection of them both rather than all things that were his. He was going to bring the furniture he didn't want back to the storage unit then decide with her what they would do with everything they didn't want, thinking they would likely donate it to someone who needed it.

He didn't want Ziva to come home in the middle of what he was planning so he'd decided to enlist Abby's help, knowing that she was the only person who could pull them apart for an evening. He just hoped that both women would take the bait, he'd left a spa gift certificate on Abby's desk when he'd gone in with her to see everyone. He missed them while being off and couldn't wait to be cleared to go back to work. He picked up his phone and dialed Abby.

"Tony?" asked Abby, a little confused. "What's up buttercup?"

"I need your help with something,' he told her.

"Sounds intriguing."

He laughed. "I have a surprise for Ziva but it won't be done when she's done work."

"Mysterious. How long do you need me to stall her for?"

"Three hours, four tops."

"Is that why a spa gift certificate appeared magically on my desk this morning?"

He was still surprised he'd managed to pull that off Abby was like a ninja when it came to her lab. He was sure he'd been caught when she'd turned her music on, but he got out of the office and into the lab area fast enough to make her believe he'd come down for a hug, which she gladly gave him. He hoped that she wouldn't go into her office before he left. He had never been to a spa before so he had asked the receptionist what would be a good amount to give to two women, and hoped she'd steered him right, she had given him the stink eye the whole time he was there, and it made him wonder if he might have dated her at some point and he'd forgotten. Now that he had Ziva in his life he regretted that part of his life, but knew he wouldn't be able to change the past.

"It's very likely that's why it's there," he explained. "Is it enough for both of you?"

"Oh heck yeah Tony, you did good!" Abby assured him. "Does this surprise involve food?"

"I won't have time to cook today do you mind? Maybe you can sneak me home some sushi?"

"Good then we'll have lots of time to hang out, sweet. I can totally bring you back some grub, no worries. What are you up to?"

"Abs you know I love you but you're the last person I'd tell right now," he told her.

"Fine, whatever Tony, can I check out this surprise or will it break my brain?"

"You can see it. Ziva would shoot me if I tried something like that."

"True enough," she laughed.

"If you can't get ahold of me remind her I told her an old friend was in town today."

"You sneaky sneak!"

"Whatever I know she'll like it when she sees it I just want it to be a surprise for her. Trust me."

"I might trust you with my life but if Ziva gets mad at me for my part in this I'm blaming it all on you Mister. I've got about a million things to do right now I'll see you later."

"All right, later Abs."

He saw the moving truck he'd gotten pulling to the storage area. He was glad they were on time, he knew he had a lot of work to get done before Ziva got home, ideally late thanks to Abby. Between the three of them they loaded in the boxes which had packed and labeled over a year ago, as well as a couch, a dining room set, some chairs and couple of book cases and headed out the townhouse. When they got there they packed away his old couch, moved his small dining room set into the kitchen where it fit better, placed the chairs and bookcases in the rooms he wanted as well as bringing I the boxes before returning a few things.

Notes: All right so this part I already had written, then went into the reveal of her surprise, but then I decided I wanted to write some Abby hehe sorry for the delay on the baby talk tho.

He headed back to the townhouse glad that it had so far gone quicker than he'd expected. He unpacked a few of the boxes, mostly kitchen things as well as a bedroom set which he put in the wash and hoped he could get freshened up before she got home. Almost everything was where he wanted it but he still had work to do so she could see just how much he had taken care of her things while she'd been gone. He really hoped that she'd be happy that he'd done this for her.

Notes: Think she'll like her surprise? The next part I also added cause I wanted to write Abby. Reviews are good for the soul, let me know what you guys think.


	33. Part 32

Title: My Heart Cries for you  
Author: Trista Groulx aka dustytiger  
ating: T (same as the show)  
Disclaimer: I am remain poor and don't own NCIS it belongs to it's creator, network, writers, actors and actresses who bring it to life weekly.  
Summary: Tony is diagnosed with leukemia and needs to rely on his family for support.  
Notes: Abby and Ziva have a good chat when they have a girls' evening. This was another part I added on the fly. I hope you'll like it the baby stuff will be resolved in the next one promise.

* * *

Ziva was surprised when she saw Abby standing in front of her desk after they had finished up a case. Ziva just wanted to get home but couldn't ignore her friend. She knew that she still had a lot to talk about with Tony, but maybe taking a small break would help her to clear her mind. Abby always had a way to put a positive spin on any situation, and she hoped that she might be able to offer some advice since she had known Tony for so long, if the opportunity presented itself.

"What is going on Abby?" Ziva asked.

"A friend gave me a gift certificate thought I'd like to share with one of my besties," she explained.

"What kind of gift certificate?"

"To the spa, I think it'll be nice for us to do something relaxing and that we've never done before."

"That sounds nice, are you sure you want to share your gift?"

"I don't think it would be well used solo, what'd you say?"

"Sure it sounds like fun. Tony mentioned an old friend was in town, so yes Abby I will go with you." She also agreed to go because she wanted to ask Abby what she thought about the argument they'd had the night before.

"Great!"

They left the office each taking their own cars, not wanting to back to the Navy Yard before they had to. Abby didn't want to suggest they drop Ziva's car off at her place in case it gave away Tony's surprise, but she had to think of a way to get to see what he had done. They looked at what the spa offered and chose pedicures as well neck and shoulder massages. They were each given a glass of wine as they waited, and as they sipped on it Ziva tried to get her mind off of what had happened, wanting to relax with her friend.

"I can hear you thinking from here, what's up?" asked Abby.

"Tony and I had an argument last night. He is not sure he wants to have children," she explained.

"And you want kids?"

"Yes, I do. I know that might surprise some people but I do, I always have."

"Just give Tony some time to think about it. He didn't say he never wanted kids did he?"

"No, he told me he did not know he told me no when I tried to force his hand, but he told me he was not sure. Perhaps I overreacted a little."

"Tell him that. I mean it's not surprising he's not sure. Tony doesn't really like kids much so he usually avoids being around them. I mean until Jimmy adopted Celeste I never saw him pick up a baby."

"Really?" Ziva asked.

"Yeah, he was so nervous the first time he held her, but I think he's learning because of her, but that doesn't mean he feels like he can do it for himself. Besides you know how he grew up, Senior wasn't a great example as to what a parent should be. He's probably just scared, and if you let him think it out he'll tell you what he really wants."

"Thank you Abby I should not have put him on the spot like that."

The both wanted a second glass of wine, but decided against it, knowing they would need to drive home. They got the pedicures first, chatting about past boyfriends and things, leaving the possibility of children on the back burner. They were both quiet through the massages, grateful for the gift, even if Ziva didn't know where it had come from. After they were done at the spa, they decided to go for sushi. They sat down and ordered.

"Should be bring some home for Tony?" Abby asked.

"He may have eaten," Ziva reasoned.

"True, but you know how he is with sushi, I've seen him eat twenty four California rolls as a snack."

Ziva laughed. "You are right we should bring him something back."

"Maybe it can be a peace offering?"

Ziva was glad that Abby had wanted to go out that day. It gave her a whole new perspective on her fight with Tony. She would be glad to get home to talk to him and hopefully they would find a solution together. The spa and meal had been a great idea and exactly what she needed after the night before. She was exhausted, hardly having slept without Tony beside her.

"I think that is a good idea. I should not have gotten so mad because he was being honest with me," she told her friend.

"You have the right to be upset about it, but I think the more time he spends with Celeste the more he'll realise he can figure it out, and be great with his own little DiNozzos," Abby explained.

"I hope you are right. I know that we are not ready for children soon, but I would like it to be a possibility in the future."

"I hope it'll happen, little podgy DiNozzo-David babies would be so adorable!"

Ziva laughed. "Tony was a very cute baby."

"I'm sure you were too Ziva. I want that it happens for both of you whenever you guys are ready. Right now I'm just happy you're home and found finally admitted that Tony was your Sweet Baboo!"

She nodded. "I do as well Abby. I am lucky he gave me another chance. What in the world is a sweet baboo?"

Abby laughed. "It's from Peanuts."

"What does a peanut have to do with it?"

"Not a peanut, Peanuts the cartoon. We may need to give you a crash course in classic North American cartoons before you settle down and have babies."

The server came back with their food, and they decided to again change subject. Enjoying having a good time together. It wasn't often they got to do it, and they hoped they would do it again; they might even invite Bishop the next time, but going just them had been nice.

"So what are you going to do when Tony comes back to work?" Abby asked.

"I have no idea," Ziva sighed. "I would like a job where I can help people. I want to do something different I am tired of being in danger and hurting other people even if it is needed."

She nodded. "Why do you think I hang out in my lab?"

"You are right, I know I will figure it out."

"I know you will too, but I'm happy that this time I still get to see you when you leave."

Ziva smiled. "I am too Abby."

The two women finished their dinner, and got an order of all of Tony's favourites before they headed home. Abby was curious about Tony had planned for her and hoped that whatever it was would also end their fight. She didn't like the idea of her friends not getting along. They went to the townhouse the couple now lived in and pulled into the driveway, Ziva still had no idea that Tony had been working all day to change their home around.

Notes: So that's my little add on. I hope you liked it. Everything will be sorted out in the next one. Let me know if you like this. Gosh Abby is fun to write.


	34. Part 33

Title: My Heart Cries for you  
Author: Trista Groulx aka dustytiger  
ating: T (same as the show)  
Disclaimer: I am remain poor and don't own NCIS it belongs to it's creator, network, writers, actors and actresses who bring it to life weekly.  
Summary: Tony is diagnosed with leukemia and needs to rely on his family for support.  
Notes: Ziva comes home to her surprise. Things are wrapping up and I think I've lost some of you let me know what you're thinking please. Originally the baby talk was one paragraph from this part, and I needed to fix that. I hope I did it right.

* * *

He had gotten into a zone while he unpacked and replaced things where he wanted them. He hadn't even remembered to eat and only realised how late it had gotten in the day when he heard voices coming from the living room. He knew that she would have already see her old couch and would have an idea of what he did, but probably had no idea how much of her stuff she still had. He went downstairs and was greeted with a hug from Ziva, who couldn't believe he'd really kept all of her things for so long.

"Tony, thank you," she told him kissing his cheek softly. "I cannot believe you did this for me."

"Why wouldn't I have Zi?" he asked her. "This is our home and I want it to reflect parts of both of us. I didn't want to stress you out by telling you about the storage unit so I thought this would be nice."

"This is amazing I am still shocked to see my old things."

"I guess it was my way of holding out hope you'd come back," he told her. "So you really like it?"

"I do yes, what do you think Abby?"

"Everything look amazing," Abby told him. "I can't believe you did all of this. I'll give you two some space, though. This was great we'll have to do it again sometime."

"I would like that a lot," Ziva assured her hugging her.

"Thank you for your help Abs," he told her before she left.

Ziva was still looking around the apartment, taking in everything he'd done while she'd been at work and out with Abby. They'd agreed they'd need more stuff in the townhouse when they'd first moved in, but agreed they could make due until they started looking at furniture. Now seeing it she knew they had no need for anything else. She went into the dining room, glad to see the bigger table so they could host their friends when they wanted to.

"Wait until you see what I did upstairs," he told her.

She went up the stairs surprised that the door to their bedroom was closed they almost always kept it open. He followed her eating the sushi that they had brought back for him as they went through the house. She went into the first spare bedroom and was surprised to see that it had a desk as well a bed in it. She was a little confused that he had done that since they had two extra rooms. She assumed that they would use one as an office and the other as the spare room.

She went into the other bedroom, and saw a couple of bookshelves in it as well as an old rocking chair. She was confused, it was almost like he had something else planned for the room, but she wasn't sure what it was. She looked around the room and saw him standing behind her still eating.

"Tony?" she asked.

"I wanted this room to be for a baby, when we're ready for that."

He jaw dropped, she as sure he heard him wrong. After their argument the night before she was sure it would take him a lot longer to make up his mind. She had planned on telling him to take his time and decide what he wanted but was too amazed seeing her things in their to remember. After talking with Abby she realised she had over reacted to and wanted to give him some time. She never thought she would hear those words coming from his mouth, but she was thrilled she had.

"Tony?" she was shocked. "Really?"

"Yes, really. I thought about it last night and it hit me today when I went into the storage unit. I forgot I'd put some of my things in there too. One of those things was this rocking chair. It was mine, or my mom's I guess it's mine now. It was in my room when I was little and that's where she'd tell me stories, or rock me to sleep, she got it from her mom. When I saw it was like she'd come back and slapped me on the the back of the head and asked me what the hell I was thinking about not wanting kids with you."

"Are you sure?"

"I don't want it to happen tomorrow Zi, I want us to have some time to work on us, this is all so new putting a baby in the mix might be a little much, but when the time is right I'd like to have kids with you."

"Kids?" she asked.

"It kind of sucked being an only child, so two might be a good number when it's time."

"I am so happy Tony, you are sure? I did not pressure you?"

"I'm sure. I should talked out with you in the first place."

"We are good now, that is what matters. I should not have gotten mad at you for telling me how you felt."

"It's over."

She kissed him softly and began to pull him toward their bedroom. She was shocked when she opened the door and instead of being greeted the grey sheets they had been using everything was purple, the sheets, the duvet and even the curtains were from the set had had when she was there. She couldn't believe he had kept that, and wondered what else might be in the house that he had kept for her after she had gone to Israel. The townhouse was really starting to feel like their home, and she knew they had room to grow when they were ready for that.

She kissed him a little more seductively this time and pulled him toward the bed. Although he was exhausted he couldn't say no to her, and was glad he'd made her happy. He would do it all again in a heartbeat. He was also glad to be back in his bed after the night before. He knew he'd been a little stubborn the night before but he hadn't realised just how much he had gotten used to having him next to him since he'd been home.

Notes: There we go happy, I thought having a memory of his mom would help to ease his fears. I hope you enjoyed this. Please let me know it's so nice to see what you guys are liking.


	35. Part 34

Title: My Heart Cries for you  
Author: Trista Groulx aka dustytiger  
ating: T (same as the show)  
Disclaimer: I am remain poor and don't own NCIS it belongs to it's creator, network, writers, actors and actresses who bring it to life weekly.  
Summary: Tony is diagnosed with leukemia and needs to rely on his family for support.  
Notes: Tony's back at work. Kind of put my own feelings about going back to work after being in the hospital in this one. I was ready to go back like a week after I was home, but the docs kept me off about three months more. I discovered I am a work-a-holic when people ask me how I'm doing I always respond "Great! I'm back at work!" and go from there. So I wanted to channel some of that into Tony. Let me know what you think... rounding the bend, so sad...

* * *

DiNozzo had finally been cleared to go back to work. He thought he'd been ready for months now but the doctors wanted him to take enough time off to heal from what he had gone through. He knew going back would be bittersweet for everyone because it meant that Ziva was really going to stop working for NCIS, while they were still going to see her it was going to be different. He smiled as he parked his car, he wanted to be back into his normal routines. By the time he got off the elevator he was grinning thrilled to be going back to his desk he didn't realise just how much he'd missed work until he was going up to the floor.

As he got in he noticed there were balloons at his desk, he wasn't sure if Abby or Bishop had done it, or if the two had worked together. He was happy to see that his work family had missed him as much as he'd missed them. He couldn't wait to get his feet wet with their first case. He didn't realise until he got sick how much he loved his job. He was glad that he was so close to his co-workers and still go to see them through everything that had happened.

He had only gotten half way to his desk when Abby came flying, seemingly from nowhere, toward him and hugged him tightly. He smiled glad for the hug, it was just what he needed. He wrapped his arms around her as well, and she smiled at him. McGee and Bishop hadn't arrived yet, and he wondered how early Abby had come in to do this for him. He was lucky to have someone like her in his life on top of everything else he felt so blessed about at home with Ziva.

"I missed you too much," she sighed.

"I missed you too Abs," he assured her. "I'm so ready to be back."

"Good. I'm sure that you won't be disappointed in whatever the first case will be."

He laughed. "I guess I'll find out when everyone else arrives."

Gibbs came in next, holding an extra coffee cup, one which he handed to DiNozzo who nodded as a thank you. McGee and Bishop were not far behind him. He went to his desk and adjusted his chair back to how he liked it and then he began to open the drawers to make sure everything was still where he'd left it. He opened the last one and was thrilled to find the picture of Ziva in the bikini was in there. He thought she'd finally destroyed it after he had been in the hospital; there was a small post it note on it and in her writing it read "for your eyes only." He smiled and put it back where she'd left it for him. He loved that photo of her.

"What's that smirk about?" McGee asked.

"Just a little something Ziva left for me," he replied.

"I don't want to know."

DiNozzo couldn't help but chuckle at that, his co-worker probably thought there was something inappropriate in that drawer, not a simple picture he'd taken out of boredom but always made him smile when he saw it. He then went through his bag, taking a few new pictures out one that Abby had snapped in his hospital room when he was putting Ziva's ring on her finger. There was also one of them in New York where his hair was grown back and they were smiling at each other happily at a small restaurant they'd gone to while they were there, taken by this father. He then began to move small things around to where he felt they went.

"Really Tony?" asked Bishop watching him obsessively switching around objects.

"Like you can talk the way you sort your paperwork," he retorted.

"Fine, whatever, it's good to have you back."

Gibbs' phone began to ring, and the team all looked in that direction, until he hung up. "Grab your gear!" he told them.

Tony couldn't help but smile, he'd been waiting to hear those words for so long. He was still smiling as he picked up his bag, it felt so good to be back to his usual routine, being back at work made it feel all the more real that he was in remission. The past months had been an emotional roller coaster, he had found happiness with Ziva but he had also had to fight to keep that harder than he'd had to fight for anything before which made him realise just how fortunate he was and he was never going to take anything for granted again. He hoped he would never have to live through anything like that again. He was even more aware now how important it was for him along with his co-workers to find out what happened to the victims they were investigating. He knew that what had happened could only make him better at his job, just like it had made him a better man for Ziva. He couldn't wait to wrap his brain around the new case and prove that he could still do his job after so much time off.

Notes: Hope you enjoyed Tony's return to work. Let me know what you're thinking.. only a couple more and it's over kids. Let me know what you think.


	36. Part 35

Title: My Heart Cries for you  
Author: Trista Groulx aka dustytiger  
ating: T (same as the show)  
Disclaimer: I am remain poor and don't own NCIS it belongs to it's creator, network, writers, actors and actresses who bring it to life weekly.  
Summary: Tony is diagnosed with leukemia and needs to rely on his family for support.  
Notes: Tony gets home from work, a wrap up before the epilogue. Wow I can't believe it's almost over. Also none of you have guessed what might be coming next hehe... Virtual cookies if you guess right :D

* * *

Tony got home a little later then he had hoped, but his adrenaline as still pumping from his first day back at work. He had wanted to be back at work for months, but the reality of it hit him after they wrapped up his first case back. Ziva was home while he worked, she wasn't going to stay with NCIS now that he was cleared for duty again. He knew she wasn't going to be leaving again but it was still strange to know she was going to find a new career. She was a great agent, she had been groomed to do what she did, and he wondered what she might decide she wanted to do now that her time with NCIS was really over.

When he got into the house he shared with her the smell of a roast came wafting into his nostrils. It was amazing to him to feel like he was coming home to find dinner being prepared and his wife waiting for him, even though he knew she would eventually want to do something again this was nice. She was sitting on the couch reading a book, and he greeted her with a kiss.

"How was work?" she asked.

"Great," he replied. "It feels so good to be back."

"I am happy for you. I still do not know what I want to do," she sighed.

"You'll figure it out."

He sat down next to her and pulled her into his arms she smiled at him. It felt nice to connect like this. He then kissed her lips softly, and she put down her book, wrapping her arms around him. He deepened their kiss a part of him wishing that dinner wasn't in the oven already so he could carry her up to their room. He pulled away from her, resting his head on hers, she smiled at him, running her fingers through his hair, glad she was able to again.

"I am a lucky man, Zi,"he told her. "I didn't think I would find this, and I certainly didn't think we would get this chance after everything that happened."

"I am lucky too, Tony, do not ever forget that. I should have listened to my heart when I first felt this way about you but I was not ready. I am now, and you make me happier than I think I deserve."

"Don't say that. You deserve happiness just like anyone else. You came back when I needed you most and that's all that matters. It doesn't matter to me how we got here, or any time we think we missed what matters is what we have now."

She kissed his cheek softly. "I am sometimes amazed to hear you say things like that Tony."

"It took the right woman, and the right motivation I guess. For a long time I didn't think I wanted this so I didn't look for anything real, and would try to make things work with the wrong people knowing it would end badly. I didn't think we could ever find this."

She took his hand and squeezed his hand. "I think I did that too. What we have was certainly not love at first sight, but I suppose that's better. We have seen each other through good times and bad and we have been able build something real, that will last a long time because it took so much for us to get here."

He nodded. "You're right. I'm glad we were able to make this work."

He then leaned in and kissed her lips softly but with purpose not wanting to let her question for even a moment what he wanted, and he knew she wanted it too. She pulled away from him for a moment, taking dinner out of the even before returning to the couch, and capturing his lips again. He grinned pulling her closer, this was exactly how he wanted to end his day, and hoped it could happen often.

"Are you not tired?" she asked him.

He shrugged. "I'm never too tired for you."

She laughed and he suckled on her pulse point making her moan softly. She smiled letting her enjoy the sensation. There were times where she was still amazed this was real. They had had their ups and downs, but there was always something about him she was attracted to, but never thought she could tame. Now that she had him, she wasn't going to let him go. Sometimes she would stress about the way everything happened between them, but Abby would assure her that everything happened for a reason. She'd known long before their first kiss that she loved him in a way she had never loved anyone before and that's why she ran away from it for so long. She had always lost the people and things she loved, and couldn't believe this time was any different. It took almost losing him for her to take that chance, and she couldn't be happier, and she knew he felt the same way.

He lifted her easily into his arms, bringing her to their bedroom. He had found in her something he wasn't sure he would be able to. Growing up he had only seen one example of pure love, and he was almost too young to remember it. Most of his memories involved a revolving door of women coming in and out of his life, and after things fell apart with his too young engagement he thought that it was his duty to continue the DiNozzo legacy. It had taken him long time to realise he was, in fact, in love with her. He was instantly attracted to her, she was beautiful, slender and brunette. They certainly had not got off on the right foot, and there were times they hated each other. But when it mattered most they were there for each other.

He still remembered being on the tarmac with her in Israel wanting to tell her he loved her, but knowing there was something else she needed that she might only find in her homeland. It hurt him more than anything in his life, but he left her there out of love. It seemed so illogical but it was the truth he wanted to make her happy, but he didn't want to force a life on her she might not want. So he let her go in hopes that like the old saying went she would come back to him. As much as getting sick was hard on him, and the biggest fight of his life it had a great outcome, and that was having her as his wife. Maybe it wasn't ideal but it was their story, and it had a happy ending and that was what mattered to them both. He laid her down other their bed, and found her lips again, happy to know this was his future.

Notes: Hope that ties things up, I can't believe the epilogue is tomorrow. Let me know what you're thinking heart.


	37. Epilogue

Title: My Heart Cries for you  
Author: Trista Groulx aka dustytiger  
ating: T (same as the show)  
Disclaimer: I am remain poor and don't own NCIS it belongs to it's creator, network, writers, actors and actresses who bring it to life weekly.  
Summary: Tony is diagnosed with leukemia and needs to rely on his family for support.  
Notes: So it's time for the epilouge, and what better way to end things than a vow renewal? Oh right and the baby question is answered, no issues or anything from the past just... Some of you have asked for a sequel, I'm a writeM what I want to write and finish the fic, and move on to something fresh kind of gal, sorry folks. My muse has some ideas up her sleeve so keep an eye out for something fresh.

* * *

DiNozzo took a deep breath as he stood on the beach, waiting to see his wife in her wedding dress. He was wearing a white tuxedo, with a light pink tie. McGee was acting as officiate again, wearing a grey tuxedo and blue tie to match his date Delilah's. Abby was on one side of him, wearing an almost blood red dress, with black lace along the fringe, and holding a red parasol. Gibbs was on the other side also wearing a grey tux but with a red tie to match Abbys' dresses, Abby Borin was sitting in her seat wearing a simple red sundress. Bishop and her husband Jake were there as well as Palmer, Breena and Celeste all dressed perfectly for the casual beach wedding.

Much to McGee's chagrin Ducky was there with Penelope Lang as his date and everyone was happy that Gibbs had his date. McGee had even managed to get Delilah to attend after promising her he would let her get around by herself as much as possible; he still liked to help and sometimes it would frustrate her. Senior was also in a simple suit and tie, and was acting as Abby's date for the evening as Abby's mystery boyfriend was not attending. Director Vance hadn't been able to get the time off with the rest of the team and the other people they may have invited they knew were there in spirit.

He finally saw what he had been waiting a lifetime to see, his wife walking toward him in her wedding gown, seeing her holding their daughter's hand instead of being escorted by a father figure nearly sent him over the emotional edge. This moment had been more than worth the wait. Ziva was wearing a vintage lace A-line dress that had been her mother's but she had updated slightly. It showed almost no skin, but did leave her back bare. She had never looked so beautiful to him walking toward him, she wore a simple veil.

DiNozzo understood now why his wife had insisted he wear the pink tie it matched the flower girl dress perfectly. Their now two year old daughter was wearing a pink flower girl dress with so much tulle it looked like a cake topper, a tiny tiara on her head with her hair wrapped into a tight bun and a huge smile on face. He locked eye with his wife, and a few tears began to trickle down both of their cheeks. She walked up to him, and took his hand.

"Tali," Gibbs whispered, and the little girl went over to her surrogate grandfather.

McGee started the simple ceremony, which was similar to their original hospital vows. They had all agreed that their original vows had been perfect so there was no point changing it too much. The couple was happy that their daughter got to be a part of the wedding this time. Part way through Tali moved from where she was standing with Gibbs and went over to her father right about half way through their vows.

"Daddy, uppie pes?" she asked softly staring up at him and holding her arms out for him.

The small crowd all awed at the moment, unsure what DiNozzo might do. He knew he couldn't say no to his daughter, so picked her up, swinging her around so that she was on his hip. She smiled glad to be in his arms, and McGee didn't skip a beat as he finished the vows. He looked at DiNozzo uncertainly realising his hands were now occupied with keeping his daughter in his arms. McGee noticed this and decided to switch the rings slightly.

"Ziva, place the ring back on Tony's finger, and repeat with this ring I thee wed," he told her which she did, then turned to DiNozzo. "Uh, Tony take the ring." He didn't want to put down his daughter, so he let her take the ring.

"Careful Tali," he told his daughter. "When Uncle Tim tells you put the ring on Mommy's finger, where it goes."

"Okay Daddy," she told him beaming as she put the ring on her mother's finger like McGee told her to.

Ziva's emotions got the better of her this moment was more special to her than she ever could have imagined. There was a point where she wasn't sure if she was going to lose him, and now he had been in remission for five years, and they were renewing their vows at sunset on a beach in what she was sure was paradise, and their daughter had her own role in the ceremony.

"You may kiss the bride," McGee ended the ceremony.

He leaned in to kiss his wife, his daughter still in his arms. He knew the photographer was probably getting carpal tunnel syndrome from clicking the shutter so frantically. He knew that the picture of this moment would replace the picture inside his "family" picture frame which sat on his desk, showing the small family's first professional photographs.

"Momma?" Tali asked, holding her arms out to her.

Ziva gladly took the little girl, who wrapped her legs around her middle, and rested her head on her shoulder yawning. "Are you tired angel?"

"No Momma." Tali yawned again, her eyes dropped closed.

Ziva laughed then whispered to Tony, "is she out?"

He moved to check and smiled, gently pushing her hair out of the little girl's face and tucking it behind her ear. "Yeah, she is, I guess we pause on the pictures and get you somewhere to sit down."

"I am fine for now, thank you."

Everyone went over to congratulate the couple, glad to see that they had done this despite already being married. The whole time they spoke with everyone Tali stayed asleep on her. They were both happy that they got to have this experience, even though they had been married for five years, knowing that Tony had had a clean bill of health for that long and that they had become a family in that time made them want to share something a little more traditional with their friends and family and she was happy to have their daughter with them to really make it special for them both.

The group moved into a small area the hotel had set up for them, and Tali was still having her nap on her mother's shoulder, and Ziva was happy to be sitting down. She loved having her daughter close like this. She began to stir moving a little trying to figure out where she was.

"Good morning, angel," Ziva greeted her daughter.

"Momma," she whispered, still groggy. "'My in trouble?"

"Of course not, sweetheart." She kissed her cheek softly. "I told you to nap before you put on your dress."

"I'm not tired."

Ziva laughed. "I know angel, I know. We need to get some pictures taken, are you ready?"

"Yeah Momma," she whispered.

"After the pictures are all done we get to eat."

"Okay."

Tali was still tired but went to get the pictures done with everyone. The photographer took the pictures he wanted her in first then they let her go play with Celeste. Both girls only wanted to play in the sand, much to their parents' chagrin. The photographer took a few shots of the two girls in their dresses digging in the sand and forming sandcastles without pails or shovels. Tony pulled Ziva into his arms as they watched the girls.

"If my parents were alive they would tell me I did exactly the same thing with Tali when I was little," she told him.

"That's a good thing, there's a lot of you in her," he told her.

"Do not sell yourself short, she has a lot of you as well."

He nodded. "I like to think she got the best of us both."

She laughed. "You will not be saying that when you get the dry cleaning bill for that dress."

He kissed her lips softly, letting the embrace linger a little longer than he usually did when their friends were around. She pulled away smiling at him, running her fingers along his cheek. He smiled back at her, not needed words to tell each other how happy they were. This was exactly what they would have done five years earlier had been an option. Getting to renew their vows was something they would both always cherish as their wedding; although their original vows felt more emotional this was perfect. They had their daughter there with them, as well as the people who mattered most to them, and like she had requested Tony was sporting a beard.

The small group went into a tent the resort had set up for them, to find a small buffet ready for them to enjoy. After they had eaten the group celebrated, chatting and dancing. Senior seemed quite content to have Abby on his arm for the evening. Part way through the night Tali was getting tired and whiny so Breena took the two girls up to their room for the night, wanting to give the couple some time together that night.

It wasn't too late when the small party began to break up. The couple were thrilled to have had the chance to celebrate with their friends. Tony was happy that he finally got to see Ziva in a wedding dress, but true to himself he was almost as excited to get her out of the dress as he had been to see her in it. Everyone could tell that they still made each other happy, and just how in love the couple was. What they shared was real and good despite how they got there the only thing they cared about was that they were finally there. They didn't dwell on the past, or even talk about when he'd been sick, they simply looked to the future, taking each day they were able to share as a blessing and it was easy to tell that things would continue on the same path for them. Maybe their family would grow, maybe they would face new challenges but whatever happened they knew they could face t together and move past it so long as they had one another.

The End

Notes: Well that was that, I can't believe this fic got so long... I thought it would be fifteen parts when I first started it, and now it's this. I'm glad you came on this journey with me. Thank you for all the kind words, and faves and things. I'm glad so many people seemed to have liked this. Hopefully I'll have something new soon. HUGZ and HEARTS to all of you keep the kind words flowing. It means the world to me that people took the time to read this so thank you. -trista


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